Kitschy Coo

If this was my handbag I'd fill it with All the Things

2012-01-28T19:11:00.003Z

When we visited my folks last summer and I forgot to pack my handbag, my mum let borrow her all-time-favourite bag. She didn't use it anymore because she thought it was passed its best; I have lower standards so have been using it ever since. In exchange for borrowing her bag (and taking it back to Scotland with me), I agreed to make her an even better one.

I belong to the school of thought that you can measure the relative awesomeness of a bag by the number of pockets / compartments, with bonus points for extra zippers. This bag?

One deep zippered back pocket that goes all the way down to the base.......

One deep zippered front pocket that goes all the way down to the base.......

A front pouch pocket with a boxy three-dimensional base and magnetic closure*. Inside this pocket is a two-section patch pocket with two pen holders.

Elasticated pockets inserted into each of the side seams for phones and keys...

A recessed zipper to the top. Speaking of which, here's some advice from me: do not decide to figure out how to insert a recessed zipper when the bag is 90% finished. It's too late by then. I ended up chopping around the whole bag, sandwiched the zipper panel in between, and then sewed it back together. I was a nervous wreck.

And to the inside a cavernous section and four side pockets. Bringing us up to a grand total of 14 separate compartments in which to stash your stuff.

And here my mum is holding it**. See how the adjustable strap allows her to carry it on her shoulder (as she likes to do)? It also allows you to carry it cross-body (as I like to do). Which will be handy when I steal it back next summer.

*The original bag had a flap with velcro. How dumb is that? The answer is heaps. It alternated between laddering my tights and snagging on my sweater sleeves and gloves.
** And a Spongebob inflatable. I can't explain this.

What is it they say about working with animals and children?

2012-01-27T17:56:00.003Z

Ever so slightly blurry. Immensely irritating as a result.

I've had a bajillion photoshoots in the last month involving fast-moving, opinionated and variably-cooperative subjects. Photographers, I doff my cap to you: photographing kids is some tricky business. Remember the Calvin? Here's how it goes getting a usable shot...

Can I take your picture, Calvin?

Maybe less running? Here, have a seat in this chair.

Great, now can I see your eyes?

Okay. Normal eyes.

That's really good! Less baleful now?

Less judgemental?

Nope, you're running again. Red light!

Okay, my bad. Too much detritus in the background.

Cornered.

Pimp your blog: Blogger introduces threaded comments

2012-01-24T11:09:00.005Z

If you didn't comment on yesterday's post, you missed out more than normal. Hard to fathom, right? But look, Blogger has finally installed threaded comments:

Thirteen years is not long to wait, Blogger, I know you've been busy.

In the past, I've either answered to comments by email (if one was find-able) or in the dreaded @response. The down-side to the former is that other readers might want the answer too but didn't ask (or thought I was ignoring the commenter and was an ignorant bad person); the down-side to the latter is that the original commenter might not know I replied unless they subscribed to comments. Although I nixed the idea of installing Disqus or some such external workaround, it seems foolhardy* not to take advantage of the new Blogger functionality.

If you want to install threaded comments, it's super easy to do.

EDITED TO ADD: After looking into the comment left by Becky, it appears that there are still some bugs with threaded comments. It *can* change the look of your blog to readers using some versions of Internet Explorer and Chrome. Some people report that they're also not able to leave comments (again, depending on which browser they are using). And finally, click-throughs to your posts now bring readers to the end of the post where the comments are rather than to the top as before. Personally, this is majorly irritating and if not fixed quickly I might switch back for this reason alone. So maybe it was foolhardy to install! Further reading here and here, including how to remove threaded comments if you change your mind. All information found by Googling 'problems with threaded comments blogger'.

Crafter's Ceilidh: The Debrief

2012-01-23T10:26:00.004Z

I took my anxiety disorder on a field trip on Saturday to meet twenty five other sewing / knitting / crafting enthusiasts for the Crafter's Ceilidh in the city centre. Now, meeting new people and meeting new people on masse is right at the top of my Likely-To-Cause-Hives list, but I'm happy to report that everyone was very nice and friendly and I only blushed to my roots and / or wanted to bite my hand a couple of times. Which is less than in the school playground for pick-up so I'm filing this under 'result'. Can you spy me in this group shot?

Crafters' Ceilidh Group Photo, From L to R: Kerry, Karen, Winnie, Rachel L., Kari, Roo, Carolyn, Amanda, So-Ha, Kiran, Rachel, Debi B., Kristen, Franca, Alana, me, Hannah, Katie and Melizza. Not pictured: Clare, Anneleen, Tom and Cat.
Photo and blog links courtesy of Debi.

I am the teacup human in the red coat. PhD anthropology students, submit your dissertation proposals now: Are crafters taller than your average bear? This sample set suggests so.

After group shots, we trouped over to the treasure-trove that is Armstrongs, a vintage emporium in the Grassmarket. I took a selection of terrible photos, including this petticoat hanging from the ceiling. And then the fabric shopping commenced, hitting Edinburgh Fabrics, Mandors, and The Cloth Shop. Although I am sure many of you (correctly) doubted my restraint after the weekend's stash shot, I only bought £12 worth of fabric:

Do not adjust your monitors, they really are that lurid. There wasn't fabric composition noted on the bolt, but my guess is 100% lycra. Speaking of fabric content, there were a couple of fabrics at The Cloth Shop that were labelled 100% various! Trust me, non-sewers, that's hilarious. I'm not sure what to do with these slinky, stretchy prints but could not resist them as they were reduced from £7.99/m to £2/m. Maybe a wrap dress? As always, feel free to tell me what to do.

Fabric-lust sated, we then headed over to a soon-to-be-open sewing cafe on Leith Walk to swap patterns and fabrics. At the bottom of the above picture, you will see the herringbone wool and polkadot velvet that I lugged around all day in a black plastic Gap bag. Did you know that if you eschew the treacherous cord handles of a Gap bag and instead bunch the plastic in your hand while you carry it around, your hand will turn black? It is scientifically proven. By me.

In exchange for the two fabrics I contributed, I scored this piece of pure silk. Again, I have no idea what I am going to do with it but if nothing else it was much easier to carry around.

Picture courtesy of So-Ha

Do not be fooled by that look of extreme concentration on my face while looking at patterns, I knew it in my heart of hearts that I was probably one of the least likely people to sew for myself from a pattern and so abstained. Although I was sorely tempted just to take one for the LOL-factor. Such as:

Picture courtesy of scruffybadgertime

Version two, please, with the fake fur sleeves.

Photo courtesy of Debi.

And then, finally, to the Voodoo Rooms for a dinner of delicious but bijou chicken. It was funny doing so many things as a large group; being a hen party destination I don't think Edinburgh was used to such a well-behaved and impeccably (and sensibly) dressed group of women out on a Saturday night.

Largesse, thy name is Amanda

2012-01-21T11:14:00.004Z

Guess who has finally finished re-folding and organising all her fabric? Hint: It is not a person with any restraint, at all.

The Joy to the World Dress

2012-01-19T22:12:00.003Z

Even though it is almost closer to next Christmas than the Christmas past, I hope I'm forgiven for the late sharing of Maia's Christmas dress? Rather than go all fancy or frocky or frou frou like Christmas dresses of yester-year, I decided to make her a dress that would hopefully get a lot of wear all year round. And if Christmas is supposed to be about joy, you don't get much more joyful that smiley mushroom people cavorting amidst rainbows....

Wearing your new Hello Kitty slippers (thereby rendering your mum's attempted photo shoot null and void). Wait. You want more joy?

Beading: The Most Thrilling Fifteen Minutes Ever.

She was genuinely demented with excitement.

The Itinerant Gamer

2012-01-17T20:35:00.004Z

Can I just state for the record that within four hours of Laura saying 'OMG how do you keep you nails so long?!' three quarters of them broke and the rest needed to be cut to match? She is clearly a voodoo practitioner.

Rather than drag a stack of near-empty cases back and forth to the States with us, I made Jamie an early Christmas present of a nifty DS carrier. The red fabric contains a thick rigid board inside of it with a pocket to each side using a French terry with a huge amount of Lycra (and therefore good stretch recovery). One pocket for slipping the DS inside, the other pocket...

Has a hard-back book with slots for individual games, with a ribbon tab for ease of pulling it out of the pocket. If I was to do it again (and I will at some point as Maia got a DS for Christmas too), I'm going to attempt to figure out how to add a zipper around the book for extra security lest a game fall out when the carrier is knocking about every-which-way in their backpacks.

In other news, Long-term Top Secretness is being revealed within the week. I'm very nervous.

If this was my journal I would use it to chart the incidence of the word 'Pardon'

2012-01-15T21:19:00.008Z

Despite the fact that being in the company of my children for prolonged periods of time is a gift in-and-of-itself, I also made a couple of small gifts for their various caregivers. For Jamie's teacher I made this fabric covered notebook in Alexander Henry's pretty tulip print. I didn't make a gift for his teacher last year, but I've had quite a bit of contact with his teacher this year due to the re-emergence of his hearing problem. I don't think I've mentioned it on the blog, but he's struggling to hear well again and we are back in the system to get it sorted. By 'get it sorted' I mean wait two months, find out the referral was never actioned, wait another two months, have an appointment that deems his hearing acceptable, and then get discharged.

Pictured: a gift for Maia's childminder. Not pictured: segues between topics

Armed with a letter from said teacher confirming that there is definitely a problem (thereby making me appear at least 65% less neurotic / fantasist / Munchausen's by proxy), and a very painful yet comical discussion with the GP where Jamie said 'Pardon?' sixteen times in a row, we're back in the system for a second time this year. I absolutely don't know what to do if they say his hearing is fine again.

Pull Up a Chair

2012-01-14T16:52:00.004Z

Heartfelt apologies to those of you who thought the combination of moving furniture aimlessly around the house and Top Secretness meant there was a tenant in my uterus. Not so. I'm actually just shifting all of my business-related activities into my own room. For years I've been sewing in the living room after grabbing fabric and supplies from the spare room; unfortunately my desire to make things far outweigh my desire to tidy things away so there has been a more-or-less one way stream of sewing detritus into our family space. Expediency requires that I rectify this situation and contain the business to it's own room. I've been working on The Room for eons now, and after I get a few more items and do quite a bit more organising I'll share it. But before that, I need some help!

During living room operations, I sat on the couch and sewed with my machine on a small end table. Not so good for my (hunch) back, and when I switched between machines I had to switch them on the table. Beyond irritating. In New Room operations, I have a long table to accommodate several machines at a time. Which probably rules out this chair for lack of wheels:

But it's a pretty colour, and probably lightweight. Lack of cushioning might be a problem?

Height adjustable, wheeled and cushioned. But white and a bit boring.

All of the good points from the last chair, plus bonus orange points.

Top-runner for being patterned but requires more money than I'd like to spend and a physical trip to IKEA. Possibly a behemoth.

Please regale me with tales (the good, the bad and the ugly) of what you sit on when you sew. Debate the relative merits of arm-rests. Link to articles on web-MD that show that bedsores are the inevitable result of a lack of bum-cushioning. Keep it civil, people. I will delete comments if there are personal attacks about other people's stances on the neccesity of wheels.

Myopia Cornucopia

2012-01-13T15:56:00.003Z

It required the full gamut of my leather stash (grey, maroon, blue, cherry red, and olive green) to make eyeglasses cases for my bespectacled friends and family.

Leather is interesting* to sew with because the texture, thickness and stiffness varies so much between hides.

The grey, for example, is very sueded and supple. The blue, however, is very thick and not very pliable.

By the way, if that post title doesn't entitle me to automatic band membership to Artic Monkeys, I don't know what will*.

*Interesting to me.
**Spectacle receptacle? Optical synoptical?

The Introspective Retrospective Blogger returns

2012-01-12T12:12:00.002Z

Why, hello there, ill-treated readers. Many apologies for my abrupt and unannounced departure from the blog. In true sneaky-alligator form, we snuck all around the world and back without you even noticing. I have so much to catch-up on now, including Handmade Presents For One and All, but I've enjoyed reading other bloggers end of year round-ups so here goes...

2011 was slightly slower than other years as far as tutes on the blog, with only eight. In my defence, the pin-up bathing suit series was mammoth. There are now a total of 35 tutorials hosted here, but I'm planning many, many more for 2012.

1. Fifteen minute envelope pillow covers 2. Getting another year's wear to a top 3. Strabismus / Amblyopia Patch 4. Viking Hat 5. Playmobil Hock Hack 6. Pin-up Bathing Suit 7. Fabric Hanging Files 8. How to fully line a bodice

A much larger portion of this year was making things in the accessories category, be it for ourselves, friends or customers. This was truly the year of the gadget, not just for us personally with our new Kindles and iPad, but for orders. In the two weeks before Christmas, I sold fifteen Kindle covers alone! It was a bit of a departure for me to move away from kids clothes (as reflected by the very few new patterns released this year), but interesting to see in which ways the business naturally takes itself when I let it.

There was still, however, ample opportunity for making children's clothes for others. This was the first year that I didn't offer a lot of pre-made stock to order and as a result customers chose their own fabrics and styles. Party frocks and hoodies almost exclusively.

I wasn't quite so prolific this year in making clothes for the family, with almost everything made because of necessity (costumes, occasion-wear, summer holiday clothes). Poor Jamie got the short-shrift.

Due largely to the necessity of finding a dress for the big wedding, I spent a lot more time and effort this year on sewing for me. Six dresses and a top comprised The Never-ending Dress Quest, which started with a Sisboom Dress, became increasingly fraught, but culminated in being a finalist in Made by Rae's Spring Top Week. Failing in a way only I know how, I never claimed my prizes. Burnt out on tailoring, I then made some fairly mundane stuff.

So there we go then, the year that was. Personally, it was a hard year with epic internet woes,Maia's patching, and my mother-in-law's accident. There was still time for some fun and games, though, what with becoming reviewer extraordinaire, committing my war with Branson to MSPaint, baking fails, and International Day of Delurking*. Our final year on Earth (according to the Mayans anyway) has started with a bang and the Top Secret News I've been irritating about for ages is ready to be revealed**.

*Incidentally, International Day of Delurking and International Day of Navel-Gazing were two of my favourite days last year. In typical renegade fashion, I did them in April, but today is the official International Day of De-lurking. How coincidental is that? Heaps, I tell you.

**Once I stop moving furniture back and forth around the house in a futile effort to make it bigger.

Not a patch on her

2011-12-17T19:55:00.004Z

We had our two month follow-up at the Orthoptist yesterday and the girl is now patchless! At least til our next appointment in February, anyway, and if the vision in her bad eye remains stable we can remain so :)

The Clean Line Tunic

2011-12-14T16:27:00.003Z

One of my best customers asked for a tunic for her daughter for Christmas day, and despite being crazy busy with orders, I managed to squeeze it in today.

As her daughter is a bit older, she preferred a non-elasticated neckline so I kept it simple and clean with a bound edge with polkadot binding. The binding has a lovely crochet edge. I did the same for the sleeve edges.

The back has a single button and loop closure with a coordinating green button.

Christmas orders have been oh-so-busy but I'm probably closing up shop tonight to give me time to make things for my family. Today was hopefully my last trip to the post office! Which is just as well as the post office this week has given me Hulk Rage.

The Festive Frock

2011-12-12T15:52:00.003Z

It was the annual Kitschy Coo Christmas party on Saturday (this basically just means me and Friend Sarah hit the town), and I rustled up a festive frock shortly before / during / after I was supposed to meet her. It took me less than an hour, but I was still late. It's a red ponte knit using my cowl neck pattern but with a normal neckline. It has super-long sleeves in my futile effort to keep my wrists and hands warm.

I had every intention of being a proper blogger and getting pictures early on at the picturesque Christmas market, but it was crowded and freezing so I pulled my typical headless bathroom shots near the end of the night. I am nothing if not classy.

Crafter's Ceilidh

2011-12-09T21:12:00.004Z

In the off-chance that there isn't a single soul who doesn't already read Debi's very inspirational blog, she's organised a Crafty Meet-up in Edinburgh on the 21st of January. It's not just for sewists, but plans are to accommodate a cornucopia of crafty types.

If I can conquer my social anxiety, I'll be there. Anyone else?

The Dread Lego Lord

2011-12-08T19:44:00.002Z

There's nothing actually dreadful about this hoodie (I hope), but I think the angle of this shot quite foreboding. Or maybe I'm just reading too much George RR Martin*. Probably both.

I must be full of the Christmas spirit, however, as I'm letting people freely order things with the last of my precious hoarded fabrics.

Such small pieces require a bit of ingenuity, however, and I pieced this side with horizontal strips of blue twill, red twill and lego fabric.

And for the other side horizontal stripes on black twill.

With an accent to the hood. The tiniest bit of the lego fabric remains in the stash and the world collectively weeps.

**All right, who has read the George RR Martin books and would like to enter therapy with me in the hope of getting a group discount? I am almost finished part two of book three and I AM HARROWED.

The Geek Exchange Programme

2011-12-06T21:20:00.003Z

My web guru (hired through this very blog!) did a stellar job pimping my shop up, and even had the kindness to except partial payment for his services in textile form. To his son, a lego t-shirt; but to the guru the spoils: a space invader iPad cover. Aren't we ironic trendy hipsters putting Androids on our Apples? Yes.

For illustrative purposes, this photo shows it with my rather lacklustre and forlorn iPad 1. His iPad is an ipad 2. I was determined not to be impressed by it (as any iPad is a joy and a blessing), but I was consumed with jealousy for the magic magnetic be-coloured screen protector in apple green.

As ~~punishment for having nicer things than me~~ befits an iPad with integrated screen protection, I omitted the neoprene inner lining I usually use for my covers but in my infinite magnanimity still bequeathed a handy back zippered pocket.

The Sentimental Pajama-ist

2011-12-05T18:11:00.003Z

You might think that making new pajama bottoms for the kids is not necessarily blog-worthy, but you'd be wrong. These pjs have history.

Rather than use brand-new fabric from my stash, I repurposed some of my old sleepwear that I didn't wear anymore but was too soppy to bin. The penguin flannel for the girl's bottoms came courtesy of my fifteen year old self. When I was a pre-teen and teenager, I was obsessed with novelty pajamas. I may or may not have wore a flying squirrel suit (which for the unfamiliar is the pre-curser to a slanket).

These stripey jersey ones for the boy were made out of a nightgown. Now, let me state for the record: I do not normally wear nightgowns. In fact, since I was old enough to choose my own sleeping attire, I have worn precisely one nightgown: this one. And I wore it for the express purpose of expelling this very child out of my body. Nightgowns are infinitely more practical when giving birth than flying squirrel suits, bum-flap or no.

If you were ever wondering how much my kids look alike when their faces are identically daft, here's your answer.

The Alternative Christmas Gift Guide

2011-12-04T15:34:00.003Z

It's that time of the year when the air is filled with the dulcet tones of my progeny chanting 'I want that, I want that, I want that' at every commercial and catalogue they see. Lengthy and precise letters to Santa have been written, and every adult within a ten mile radius (whether we know them or not) has been instructed what to buy.

Gifts for the girl
Steven and I have been arguing about to what extent to give into Maia's wish fulfilment. Never has a more gender-stereotyped child walked this Earth. The feminist in me objects to at least 80% of her list; she does not need anything in her life that solidifies her notion that girls are vapid and superficial.

The girl wants a Barbie head, ergo I will get her this one. I win.

The girl wants a My Little Pony, ergo I will get this one. Two- nil.

Gifts for the boy
Not as contentious as his sister's. Batman-centric.

I've mentioned before about Jamie's deep-seated fear of bears. Will a poster of Batman Bear change his mind?

Nah, probably not. This ursaphobia is seriously disruptive to our lives: the hall light needs to be on overnight with their bedroom door open, he requires a chaperone in every room in our own flipping house for fear of The Bear. Bat-Bear is cool, no doubt. But this level of fear calls for some aversion therapy:

Worried about finding youself inside a bear's stomach? No need. So plush and cosy.

Venturing into ridiculous territory. Or just Scandinavia.

2011-12-02T15:00:00.005Z

What to you get when you cross a nun and a knight?

Elefanthue. That is, apparently, the technical name for this hat / hood / scarf lovechild. Google Translate kept telling me it meant 'elephant' in English and I was mighty confused by the relevancy but then I spelled it correctly and out spat 'balaclava'. Linguists, how can 'elefanter' mean 'elephants' and 'elefantheur' mean 'balaclavas'? That's some pretty weird stuff.

Needless to say, this balaclava was very popular with the under-four-feet-tall set and was modelled by Maia, Maia's friend, Jamie, and Jamie's friend. And me. Eighty percent of testers wanted their own out of snazzier fabrics, twenty percent wished ~~she~~ they hadn't looked in the mirror.

What say you, hive-mind, snazzy fabric at the ready or snazzy fabric under lock and key?

Kindle Covers for Generation Awesome

2011-11-30T19:46:00.004Z

Whenever I get an email asking if I can make something bespoke for someone, I always ask to hear a bit more about the recipient... what colours they like, what styles or themes they're keen on, if there's anything they're passionate about. This Kindle case was for the customer's mum.

I was not expecting to hear that she was into 'shoes, tattoos and skulls'. Coolest grandma ever.*

*Excluding any grandma whose uterus I have gestated within of course. Automatically cooler.

Dental reviews: Now 100 % more thorough

2011-11-29T18:26:00.008Z

Long-term readers might remember the review I did of my dentist earlier this year via the medium of True Blood. Reviews are great, of course, but better when they are not stand-alone pieces. Everyone is left wondering, 'How is this dentist now?', 'What was her six month check-up like?', and 'Did the dynamics of their relationship change now they are more familiar with each other and have gotten over their initial-appointment jitters?' Courtesy of my first cavity in 15 years, I bring you a follow-up review....

Dentist: Hello there. How are you today?
Me: Fine, thank you. How are you?
Dentist (harassed face): Meh.
Me: Bad day, was it?
Dentist: You could say that.
Me: (thinks) I hope it wasn't a malpractice suit.
Dentist: So. You're here because you have a cavity.
Me: Yes.
Dentist: And would you like to have pain relief?
Me: (thinks) Is this a trick question?
Dentist: If you don't it will be sore when I drill.
Me: I would like pain relief.

Pictured: Needle to scale.

Dentist: I have given you two injections.
Me: Okay.
Dentist: Just about to drill. It might still be sore, the injections were only small. Let me know if you can't take it.
Me: (thinking) What does this guy have against pain relief?
Dentist: Here we go....

Pictured: My actual response.

Dentist: Would you like another injection?
Me: Yes please.
Dentist: Okay, done. We might as well clean your teeth while we wait for it to kick in.

Pictured: Routine teeth cleaning

Dentist: Nurse, can I have the suction?

Pictured: Dental nurse

Dentist: Is it fully numb now?

Pictured: All of the paralysed nerves and muscles in my face.

Me: Yes.
Dentist: I am going to put this thing in your mouth.

Pictured: approximation of apparatus

Dentist: Let's get drilling.

Pictured: Dentists everywhere.

Dentist: Okay, all done. You should rinse now.

Pictured: Pre-rinsed.

Me: Thank you.
Dentist: You're welcome. See you in six months.

The end.

Hoodies for Heroes

2011-11-28T19:01:00.002Z

I got chatting to a customer recently about making a custom hoodie for her son, and it turned out she's a real life hero. Not a fire-woman, or a serial blood-donator, or a kitten-rescue-sanctuary-owner... an unsung hero. This lady is a fabric designer, bringing lovely fabrics into the world for you and I to admire and stroke. Once I got over my awestruckness, I agreed.

If you harboured any doubt about her fabric credentials, just stand back and appreciate the two fabrics she picked from my entire stash.

I never would have thought to pair Willow Shroom with On a Whim. This is why I'm not a fabric designer. It's a tone-on-tone perfect match.

The Weekender Sale

2011-11-26T13:17:00.004Z

Do you know how long it's been since I've actually had a fully-stocked webshop? Far too long. But it's all there now. After partaking in a couple Black Friday Sales myself, I decided to jump on the bandwagon and offer a sale through my shop. Through Sunday night at midnight, enter 'WEEKENDER' at checkout and receive 20% off your order.

There are two pages of clothes that are ready to ship, from appliqued rompers and organic t-shirts to baby shoes, dresses, and tunics. I'm planning on changing suppliers for my organic t-shirts and rompers so supplies are very limited and once they're gone they're gone! Have a good root around and snap them up quickly.

And four new Kindle cases in the accessories section. Patterns are where they always are, and a range of scraps packs are back in stock.

As always, the automatic postage rules are a bit screwy so overcharges on postage that are greater than one pound will be refunded through Paypal after I've posted them. Depending on how busy this sale is, shipping might not be until Tuesday.

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T18:38:00.004Z

Hope all our friends and family are enjoying Thanksgiving today, we wish we were there celebrating with you. Here are some (very specific) things the kids are thankful for:

Disclaimer: Being outside the American school system, the concept of 'being thankful' was introduced to the kids today, with only moderate success. Jamie should have said that he'd be thankful if she stopped pinching his face.

The Leaning Tower of Booties

2011-11-22T20:32:00.002Z

It's High School Flashback Pop Quiz time.

Guess who found more than forty pairs of baby shoes in a bag in their old craft closet?

Clue: It is not Imelda Marcos.

Kindles Go Organic

2011-11-21T19:12:00.002Z

It appears to be The Age of The Kindle. After the leather lovelies of last week, I returned to the book-style covers of yore with a commission for two organic cotton ones. As always, they have super thick board on both sides and a spine so the Kindle is protected from stabbing from almost all sides.

Unfortunately, I couldn't find my pattern so I had to re-draft the whole thing. While I was there, I added a pocket on the other size for sundries.

Pictured: sundries

The recipient of this case hs an old-style keyboard model like me, so the cut out is to the right where the on/off switch and the charger port are.

The recipient of the Monaluna Double Dots has a new-style Kindle so her pocket is to the centre where that version's charger port is. As this model is sans keypad, and has less height overall, I also shortened the pocket so it doesn't interfere with the screen.

Amazon, stop changing all the specs unless you're going to send me one of each.

The Rainbow Party Frock

2011-11-20T13:41:00.002Z

I was asked recently to make a dress for a little girl's rainbow themed birthday party. A bunch of Kona solids and some tinkering with my party frock pattern and voila!

From the bottom up the skirt has violet, blue, green and yellow strips....

An orange sash, and red bodice. I hardly ever work with solids (in fact I had to order then especially), but it made a nice change from sewing prints. In my typical 'more is more' fashion I thought about adding an additional rainbow applique or some other embellishment but, actually, I'm really happy with the simplicity of this dress just as it is.

Red and white and blue all over

2011-11-18T18:49:00.002Z

Another knit bites the dust, sacrificed in the pursuit of an easy winter dress. I've had these pink, red and black polkadot interlocks for years, I think they might have been the first knits I ever bought (on Ebay, Nic-who-was-asking).

To break up the pattern, I added some blue trim to the sleeve ends, neckline, and into the waist seams. The skirt is quite full, with a curved waist so it drapes nicely.

I have no idea what is going on with my (new-ish) camera, it's behaving very badly. On one side of the garden it over-exposed all the pictures, and on the other side it under-exposed them. It's entirely possible, of course, that it's just me. Any ideas?

The Knit Flounce Skirt

2011-11-16T21:28:00.004Z

From November until spring it's almost impossible for me to get modelled pics. Daylight only occurs during the hours the kids are away, and it's cold enough that coats should not be off for long. Plus the year-round grumbles about not wanting to model and deliberating gurning. One of these days I swear I'm going to click through a Pinterest link about getting kids to cooperate with picture-taking.

So I grabbed 45 seconds on the way home from school to get some pictures of her newest skirt: a full-circle made out of knit polkadot. See how the small girl twirls.

I'm going to be working a load of knit projects over the next couple of weeks (due in part to the imminent reveal of Top Secret Bizness), but my question is this: are some people still intimidated by working with stretch fabric? And what do you like or not like about sewing knits?

Tutorial lite: Getting another year of wear out of a top

2011-11-15T20:00:00.005Z

Disclaimer: This really isn't a tutorial and can probably be filed under 'Well, duh' but I'm sharing it anyway because sometimes the 'Well, duh's pass us by. Or at least they pass me by.

Due in part to me failing to make my own kids any clothes in forever, Maia has very few long sleeve tops that fit her now that the weather has grown cold. Like most kids, she has grown far more vertically than horizontally (she has actually lost most of her toddler shape) in the last year so tops fit her in the body but come up short. But with a bit of ribbing and less than an hour, half a dozen tops have been given an extra year of wear. Remember this one?

Let's give it another year.

Materials:
A top that has normal hems (i.e. does not have cuffs already)
Ribbing (or jersey works too provided it's not too flimsy). You could also upcycle the ribbing from other out grown garments.

Cut a piece of ribbing that is roughly 5.5" to 6" high and half an inch narrower than your sleeve hem when the ribbing is folded. Do this for both sleeves.

Cut two pieces of ribbing that are roughly 5.5" to 6" high and an inch (or a bit more if your ribbing is super stretchy) narrower than your hem.

Cut the sleeve hems off at the stitch line.

Same for the hem.

On the opposite side from the fold, sew the raw edge of a sleeve cuff together. Take a picture upside down to prove it. Repeat for other sleeve cuff. Then repeat to both sides of the hem ribbing.

Fold it down so the stitching is to the inside. Same for other sleeve cuff and hem ribbing.

With the sleeve right side out, place the cuff over the top of the sleeve edge so that all three edges are aligned. Stretch the ribbing to fit and pin in place.

Sew along the raw edge all the way around, stretching only the ribbing to fit. Repeat for other sleeve.

With the shirt still right side out, place the hem ribbing around the bottom edge so that all three raw edges align. Match the side seam of the shirt with the side seam of the hem ribbing and pin in place. Repeat on opposite side. Stretch the ribbing to match the shirt's edge and pin all the way around.

Sew along the raw edge all the way around, stretching only the ribbing to fit.

Flip down all of the cuffs and you're done. An extra two and half inches to the sleeve and hem and another year of wear.

The Creepy Baby Roadshow

2011-11-14T19:43:00.004Z

Remember The Ghastly Dangling Baby Art Installation? Unambitious. Let's take this horror on the road.

Sleep tight.

Kindle Covers: Now 300% posher

2011-11-11T21:15:00.002Z

I've been a busy bee making some more Kindle Cases with my leather stash. Some of you asked on my last post where I got my leather from. In the case of the blue: Ebay. But these two?

Hoo boy.... I was very lucky (my bank manager would disagree with the use of 'lucky') that I happened across these two hides in my local fabric shop . They are the most beautiful soft and supple Italian leather, originally intended for Liberty London. Honestly, they feel so nice that ~~I'd~~ you'd be tempted to cut it apart and rub it all over my your body. Warning: Please match up the striked pronouns, and then match up the non-strike pronouns. I don't want to rub the leather on your body. Much.

The interior has just been left natural suede because a) classy b) soft.

The dark brown is very nice too, and Steven is still weighing up whether he'd like to switch to this more subtle cover than his bright blue one.

Speaking of Steven's cover, I've also tried mixing it up with a constrasting closure. Does it work? I think I like it. This leather is thicker than the Liberty ones and therefore a bit more protective for people who don't hold their Kindles close to their heart as I do.

To answer more questions from last post, no, you don't need a super snazzy powerful machine to sew leather. You do, however, need to have heavy duty needles (I use leather needles) to punch through and they dull so fast. Get heaps, and change them regularly. You also need patience to go slowly and clips in lieu of needles. Once there is a hole in leather, it's there forevermore. Practice on scraps with tension, stitch length and foot pressure.

If you're interested, they are all in my shop :)

Send my prize this way

2011-11-10T11:04:00.008Z

Despite my incessant whinging and pleading for an oven for approximately two years now, The Fairy Hobmother and I are still friends. Ish. Remember that old Chinese proverb, 'If friend does not have functional oven, other friend who sells ovens provides for her'? That one is under-appreciated. Anyway, he gave me the heads up that they are having a Christmas card competition through their facebook page where you design a card for them and they give me an oven or appliance of your choice. Never one to pass a competition up (except for most other competitions), I set my photoshopping skillz to the test. My original idea was to create a card that said, 'AppliancesOnline, giving bloggers other than Kitschy Coo ovens for (insert: time frame)' but:

I couldn't find how long they'd been in business and therefore giving ovens to other people for. 'Years' was too vague. 'Ages' is a better use of the vernacular but still lacking specificity. Personally, I liked 'far too long' and thought it most accurately reflected the situation but it sounds a bit menacing.
In general, this card lacked universal appeal. Personal appeal, not lacking. Universal appeal, perhaps.
Not Christmassy.

So it was back to the drawing board. How could I combine a 'Happy Christmas' message with my agenda to score an new oven? Here's how:

If you have not watched Mad Men and are not therefore an advertising expert like me, just look at this subtle design. Universal appeal? Check. Everyone looking at this card will be heart-warmed by the combination of Santa, nice people, and appliance wish fulfilment. Clear message? Check. People need appliances and appliancesonline makes it happen. Let me repeat: People need appliances and appliancesonline makes it happen. *cough cough cough*

Disclaimer: The Fairy Hobmother compensated me for my time in posting this. But not with a oven, because this is a cruel world. The competition to design a card / win an appliance is on this page and submissions close tomorrow. If you do submit a card, please don't make it better than mine unless you are planning to send me your prize.

The Catriona Dress (part deux)

2011-11-09T22:11:00.003Z

Remember this one, the dress I made for Maia's nursery nurse for her brother's wedding?

The wedding was down in Liverpool, with a bit of a Beatles theme and it sounded like it would be heaps of fun. I was on tenterhooks for the weekend (and the intervening October break), hoping she enjoyed her bespoke dress. However, upon our return to nursery, I heard that disaster had struck. And by disaster I mean the curse of working with small children: the dreaded norovirus. Shouldn't we write an opera about this and sing it in Italian? It's so sad.

The Posh Sleeve

2011-11-08T10:47:00.003Z

It was Steven's birthday yesterday and I was determined that this year I would make him something he'd actually utilise. This is harder than it sounds as (in the nicest possible way) he is picky and likes to play it safe. No statement pieces for him, unless the statement is, 'I bought this in a mainstream shop that is probably upscale'.

So out came the leather stash. I took a bit of a gamble in using this gorgeous turquoise blue, and an even bigger gamble with lime green contrast stitching. The tab is pinched and pulled through the strap so it stays closed and secure. He opened this present first with a semi-bemused but grateful thank you, until the second present revealed its intent...

I will need to coax it out of him gradually and sneakily as to whether he wants me to make another cover in a more subdued brown leather. Thankfully, there's another Kindle user in this house who wouldn't mind the turquoise one bit.

Leather cases, yay or nay?

Baby's gone geeky and a tiny reveal

2011-11-03T21:48:00.003Z

Although this fabric has covered manifold gadgets, I'd never used it for a hoodie. I rectified this injustice today, with a small hoodie for a mystery recipient.

I just love this fabric, it reminds me of the Pacman arcade machines that could be found in pizza shops of my childhood.

For the reverse, I used a very soft turquoise twill from my stash. And an appliqued patch to tie it all together.

With 24% trepidation and 76% excitement, I'm delighted to announce this hoodie is the first kit listed in my shop. I only have enough turquoise twill for one, though, so if you want to make this exact combination get in there quick. I will, however, be relisting it with alternative reverse fabrics in due course.

Seeing as you might be hopping over to my main site any how, check out my website revamp! My web guru and I have been diligently toiling away to completely change it up and over the next couple of weeks it's going to be filling up with all manner of things.... Remember how I've been talking about Top Secret News for the last forever? Can you find it?

Tutorial: Sewing an eye patch for lazy eye / strabismus / amblyopia

2011-11-01T22:29:00.003Z

Now that we are (hopefully!) reaching the end of our patching regime in five short weeks, I thought I'd share the tutorial for making our eye patches. With the rate that we lose them, I'll probably still make half a dozen more though...

Some details about the patches: They consist of three layers (snazzy outer fabric, mid to heavyweight inner fabric, and soft flannel lining). The snazzy layer is self-explanatory, the inner layer is to give the patch some rigidity and also block out light, and the flannel (I've always used black) is so there's something nice and soft on her face. These patches are designed to fit my daughter's plastic moulded frames, which don't have nose guards. The patch is hooked onto the glasses with elastic, and then is essentially held on to her face by the glasses. Make sure the glasses are well fitting, as if they slip down the nose, the patch goes with it. No peeking is the general rule when it comes to patching. There are darts so a dome is created around the eye, meaning the vision is removed but the eye can still blink normally. The patch also extends well on to the leg of the glasses. No peeking, and no giving me the side- eye. We all win.

One feature of this patch that is optional is the bias binding. If you're just going to test the suitability of this type of patch, I'd do it initially with just a serged / rolled / overcast zigzag edge. Although the binding does give it a bit of stability and shape, it also adds a PITA factor of at least ten. Twenty if you use satin like me. The reason why I started binding the edges was because Maia complained that the stitching was scratchy. However... every time she complained about having to patch because of something specific, I changed it to accommodate her. Not because I am the best mum ever, but because she was going to wear that patch and there is not a complaint in the world that I will not thwart so be quiet and put your patch on.

A caveat: I am not an optometrist, nor do I play one on TV. I have, however, shown these patches to our specialist who thought they were better than the cloth patches that the NHS endorse. They're bigger and firmer so there is less chance of peeking. And they've definitely worked for us, with a far better improvement in her lazy eye than they were expecting.

Now that you can't sue me ~~for this specific reason~~, let's go.

Materials: small piece snazzy fabric, small piece mid/heavy weight fabric (I use canvas), small piece soft lining (I use flannel, and always use black), 1/4" elastic, double fold binding (I use satin because I'm a masochist, and because my daughter is a special snowflake)

Here is the pattern. One of these days I'm going to figure out how to have a download-able pdf (anyone? anyone?) here. Please note that this is a patch for her left eye, if you need the right flip it for a mirror image. It is symmetrical along the horizontal fold line.

Start making a fabric sandwich. Black flannel at bottom, canvas next...

Fashion fabric on the top. I like cutting all of the layers together because I want them all the exact same size and shape. You will note that I also cut out the darts from the paper pattern. This is a special step for pedants who want to make sure the darts don't mess up the detail of the fabric.

Lovely fabric sandwich, non-obtrusive dart placement.

Baste all three layers together close to the edge.

Flip it over and draw your dart lines with chalk on the lining.

Pin your elastic vertically 3/4" away from each end. Baste the ends in place at your previous basting line. **If you have glasses with nose prongs, omit the elastic at the inner side and make a centred 1" buttonhole there instead. You will slip the nose prong through the buttonhole to secure the patch to the glasses. The 1" size means that the patch can still be positioned easily up or down the face to ensure full coverage.

Fold your dart in half so the legs match up and stitch. Repeat for other dart.

Fold the dart to the outside (i.e. towards the leg end), and stitch it down along the basting line. Repeat for other dart.

Now you have a dome. Readers without special snowflakes, you can actually serge / roll hem / overcast zigzag the whole thing now and omit the hateful binding.

Fold and press your binding so the bottom portion is slighty wider than your upper portion.

Starting at the elastic, pin your binding all the way around. Make sure that you are catching the fold underneath too. Pulling a bit on the binding will help you round the curves.

When you get back to where you started, fold the raw edge to the inside and then pin over the raw edge underneath.

Start sewing just before the elastic (i.e. before the end bit that is folded over), going very slowly right at the edge of the binding on top. Remove the pins as you get close, smoosh down the darts so it's flat, leave the needle in the down position so you can pivot around the corners.

Because I hate satin bias binding, and cannot for the life of me stitch it neatly at the fold, I stop just before the folded end and slip stitch the layers together. And then you're done.

This is the (slightly wonky) inside. In my defense: satin bias binding. And shoulder bumps from my ~~ingrate~~ beloved daughter as I was trying to sew.

And the outside.

This is the proper way to wear the patch. The inner edge should sit on the bridge of her nose, rather than in the eye socket. The upper dart should be above the eyebrow and the lower dart on the cheek. Once those three are in position, pull the leg towards the ear to mould it to the face.

This is the improper way to wear the patch.

The Viking Raid

2011-10-31T12:15:00.003Z

Seeing as I started with a Viking Hat for The Train to Crazy's Handmade Dress Up Series, I thought I'd finish with two full blown Viking costumes for Halloween.

We had two parties over the weekend, a nursery party this morning, and we're out guising tonight so at least they're getting heaps of wear for the million hours I spent on them. I've taken more than two hundred pictures so far and haven't been able to catch a single full length picture where they are both in focus and looking normal.

A brown jersey tunic for the boy, a red velveteen tunic for the girl, four faux fur legwarmers, four faux fur arm warmers, two faux fur capelets, ten faux suede ties, and two padded and stuffed hats. By my calculations, that's about ten different hateful fabrics. And I have a (probably fatal) lung condition from all the faux fur I inhaled.

The Nordic talismans on the capelets were purchased from a shaman on Ebay. No joke.

See how they strut the streets of Edinburgh like a boss. But wait... isn't something missing?

My screwed up Freudian Viking Projection Fantasy is complete.

Kit and Caboodle

2011-10-28T19:45:00.003+01:00

I was in a bit of a bind last week when I was asked to make a hoodie with very short notice. Luckily, I have bags upon bags of projects that have been cut but not sewn from the era when I did craft fairs and worked sweat-shop style to a schedule. It didn't save me heaps of time, but probably an hour of cutting and two hours of faffing about staring at fabric wondering what to make.

I've been wondering for a while if I should be branching into kits as well as patterns. Kits are a great introduction to a project, and remove some of the stress and cost of picking components yourself. For a hoodie, you might buy your pattern from me, your fabric from another place, your ribbing from another, your zipper from another... all that shipping adds up! The fabric, pattern and notions would be included, and obviously you can use the pattern again and again.

I have to admit, I don't have a lot of experience with sewing kits. I bought a few Clothkits a couple of years back but shamefully never made them up; I just really liked the fabric. Because their pattern pieces are actually printed on the fabric itself, I think it's slightly limiting if your child has a figure quirk like long arms or big bum. So I think I'd definitely be providing the fabric required as an even piece, but not pre-marked or cut.

What say you, hive mind... Do you like kits? Would you be interested in them as an introduction to a pattern? What things appeal or put you off?

Branson: The Final(?) Chapter

2011-10-26T20:12:00.009+01:00

'The European Court has found that pursuant to The Human Rights Act, all European Citizens are entitled to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of LOLCATs...'

'I think you'll find that Kitschy Coo isn't actually a European Citizen.'

'Now, wait one minute, Branson. She's a god-damn American citizen and we do not stand for this sort of thing.'

America doesn't stand for this sort of thing.

'Hmm. Let her phone the call centre two dozen times. They will have a script for that.'

India responds.

The religious respond.

'What is going on down there?'

Branson is busy.

'Sort it, Branson.'

'I guess I could let her speak to someone in the UK.'

A Scouser knows his stuff.

IS THAT THE INTERNET?

Kitschy Coo bathes in its glorious warmth.

((THE END. I hope.))

If you like then you shoulda put a sleeve on it

2011-10-21T20:41:00.003+01:00

After the success of the Cinderella Couch Dress, my friend Justine asked me to make another party frock for her daughter with my recent(ish) haul of fabrics. 'I have the perfect fabric in mind,' I said, 'My precious foxes!' She couldn't believe that I'd be willing to part with some given how often I've been using it. My reputation clearly preceeds me.

But part with it I did, and at Justine's request I added a short puff sleeve to the party frock pattern. I admit there was much staring and frowning required to figure out how to integrate a sleeve into a fully lined bodice so the seams were hidden. I got there in the end but the process definitely had me flummoxed. In the end I sewed it in the round to the shell fabric and then sewed the shell and lining together with the sleeve hiding between... Can anyone point me in the direction of an easy(ier) way to do this?

The Missing Season Tunic

2011-10-20T18:50:00.002+01:00

I made this tunic for Maia's good pal for her birthday a couple weeks ago, thinking that she'd not get a wear out of it for awhile. It must have been prescience on my part, though, as we seem to have skipped autumn and moved right onto winter. Today never made it out of single figures (that's in the thirties and forties if you prefer fahrenheit). At least there is velveteen to keep the small folk cozy.

It's too soon for this malarkey, and I have the purple hand-claws to prove it. Let be British for a moment and discuss the weather. How is it in other parts or the world? Unseasonably cold, unexpectedly warm, or just as you have learned to expect?

The Sentimental Panda Hoodie

2011-10-19T20:24:00.005+01:00

When a customer chooses one of my all-time-favourite-but-long-neglected fabrics for a custom order, that's pretty much me at peak excitement. It's a lovely cherry red fine-wale cord with a retro panda print.

And the reverse?

My trusty black and white fine-wale corduroy.

And here's a bonus trip down nostalgia lane... a baby Maia in the first hoodie I ever made:

A special fabric indeed.

The Jetsetter Pouches

2011-10-18T19:08:00.002+01:00

I've been so wrapped up in this internet malarkey, I omitted to tell you about Belfast. Actually, I've been so wrapped up in this internet malarkey that I've forgotten Belfast. Distant memory, my friends.

But I did make us these matching purse-sized makeup bags so that we would fit in at the swanky hotel.

Once we flashed these around a bit we got special treatment everywhere. The only downside to our VIP experience was the bedding situation:

As chaperones at my middle school dances would have said, 'Leave room for the Holy Ghost'.

I was very much looking forward to the rose-strewn king feather bed (I might have gone so far to taunt some of my mum friends on Facebook about it), but unknownst to me Ruth made it to the hotel first and asked to be switched to a room with single beds. Can you believe this? She bed-blocked me. But obviously, once the receptionist had been asked for single beds I couldn't go back and say, 'Well, actually....' without appearing to have nefarious intentions.

A comedy of errors

2011-10-15T15:15:00.006+01:00

I know, my internet woes are very boring. Each day this week it's been cut off an hour earlier than the day before and I was starting to worry that eventually it would be cut off before I actually had it and a whopping great hole would be ripped in the Time-Space Continuum and before you know it it's the apocalypse again. So I called Virgin this morning. Hereby follows a (fairly) accurate representation of my experience:

Virgin robot: Press one for..... press six for.... please enter character four.... press five for.... press six for.... press two for.... press nine for... please enter character one..... press two for.... press four for.... press one for.... press six for....
Me: Press. Press. Press. Press. Press. Press. Press. Press.

While I am on hold, other people* have breakfast:

Technician one: Hello, how can I help you?
Me: I have terrible internet problems blah blah blah...
Technician one: Okay, let me somehow take over your computer so you are embarrassed you when you realise what sites you have open.
Me: Okay.
Technician one: I have fixed everything. It all works now.
Me: Oh really?
Technician one: I have fixed everything. It all works now. Goodbye.

After hanging up the phone, I confirm that the internet does not actually work. Let's start the process over. Meanwhile, some people take out their garbage.

Technician two: Hello, how can I help you?
Me: I have terrible internet problems blah blah blah... Your colleague told me he fixed it but he didn't.
Technician two: Okay, see that blue light on your computer, is it on?
Me: Yes.
Technician two: Great, your computer is on.
Me: --
Technician two: See that green light on the monitor, is it on?
Me: Yes.
Technician two: Great, your monitor is on. You can see things, right?
Me: --
Technician two: See that green light on the router, is that on?
Me: Yes.
Technician two: You have the internet. Is there anything else I can do to help?
Me: I don't have the internet.
Technician two: You have a problem with your computer.
Me: No I don't. Every single device has the same problem at the same time.
Technician two: When you fix your computer, the rest of your devices will start working.
Me: That is not even possible.
Technician two: I am transferring you to the 'It's Not Me, It's You' department.

Meanwhile, other people are on the phone too....

Person three: Hello, how can I help you?
Me: I have terrible internet problems blah blah blah...
Person three: Can I have your account details?
Me: Blah blah blah.
Person three: You do not have an account with us.
Me: You are a joker.
Person three: I'm going to have to transfer you back to the beginning. Ask whoever answers to 'warm transfer' you back to me.

Person four: Hello, how can I help you?
Me: The last person I spoke to told me to tell you to 'warm transfer' me back to him.
Person four: What is this thing you speak of?
Me: No idea.
Person four: Well, who were you speaking to?
Me: I don't even know what is going on.
Person four: I'm going to transfer you.

Meanwhile, in another part of the world....

Person five: Hello, how can I help you?
Me: You could come to my house and stab me to death.
Person five: Ma'am?
Me: I have terrible internet problems blah blah blah...
Person five: I'm not authorised to speak to you as you are a 50mb customer. I will transfer you.

Person six: Hello, how can I help you?
Me: I have terrible internet problems blah blah blah... You are the fifth person I have spoken to during this epic one hour and thirty minute conversation.
Person six: It is a known fault in your area.
Me: ARE YOU KIDDING ME DID YOU ACTUALLY ADMIT THAT
Person six: There has been a fault for ages.
Me: I KNOW THAT I HAVE TOLD EVERYONE THAT
Person six: Your internet loses its connection constantly.
Me: THIS IS A JOKE I AM ON CANDID CAMERA

*Disclaimer for legal types: Any resemblance to real people, be they Richard Branson or not, is purely coincidental.

The mini, mini, MINI mod dress

2011-10-14T16:46:00.003+01:00

When in Belfast I bought a dozen long sleeve t-shirts in different colours for layering; this stripey one is my favourite. However, the t-shirts are too tight to me to feel comfortable wearing them by themselves. Ergo, I decided I needed some jumper dresses.

The mod vibe is strong right now, so I made the cut drop-waisted with double top-stitched centre seams. The pocket flaps are decorative rather than functional. I used a brushed-back french terry for a bit of stability. It's nearly impossible to photograph detail on full black, but you might be able to see it if you squint hard enough. No squinting is required to see that it is far too short for a respectable lady of my age.

All this Amanda-centred-sewing was precipitated by an invitation to socialise with Friend Sarah and some of her police pals tomorrow night, and having nothing to wear. Chances that I would get arrested for indecent exposure? Considerable.

The Catriona Dress

2011-10-13T11:37:00.003+01:00

When Maia's lovely nursery nurse asked me a couple weeks ago if I could make her a dress for her brother's wedding, I admit I baulked at the idea. Making clothes for other adults who don't share my rough measurements is hugely outside my comfort zone. But Catriona is so sweet, and she was a bit distressed about being unable to find anything off the rails, and it's her brother's wedding and therefore majorly important to her, so I said I'd try.

She brought an old dress that she wanted me to copy, and I made some changes to make it more flattering.

The original dress was elasticated along the top edge to keep it up, but I eliminated the elastic and substituted three overbust darts onto each size so it would mold around her curves rather than cut into them. The fabric has a bit of stretch so the top edge is stabilised with twill tape.

The original dress was empire line but being large of bust, the seam hit across the bust rather than under it. Empire lines in ready-to-wear almost always hit the large of bust at the wrong place. Ask me how I know :) So I eliminated the empire line and added a curved waistband instead for more waist definition. If I'd had more time I would have liked to see what it looked like with a single-coloured band rather than a matching one.

The skirt is gored (twelve of them) and super-full. The circumference was nearly three and a half metres!

And here it is yesterday at the last fitting (pre-hemming and zipper). She loves it so much that I'm happy I accepted the challenge. I can't wait to see the professional shots without light switches and carpet detritus.

The State of the Girl

2011-10-12T18:16:00.006+01:00

It's been eight (long) weeks since we started the eye patch regime. At the initial appointment to access her eye problems, we found out that the vision in her lazy eye was poor enough that her brain had turned off the signals from that eye completely. Even with her glasses on, she couldn't see past the first line of the eye test! With instructions to patch six hours a day, they were hoping to see a fifty percent improvement in the bad eye. And now we've had our first follow-up appointment and.............. There's been an eighty percent improvement! The bad eye has almost equalised with the good eye, so we only have one month at four hours a day and one month at one hour a day.

We are all beyond pleased, and so proud of how brave she's been. It's not been easy, her confidence has taken a serious knock and there has been some major angsting, but she has never refused to wear it and for that I'm eternal grateful.

I've been continuing to make her new patches based on her ~~complaints~~ feedback on the earlier ones. The rolled hem edges were proclaimed scratchy, so I started binding them in satin bias binding, which also has the added benefit of stabilising the dome shape so her eye can remain open. The stiffer dome shape (and also the large size) has also ensured that peeking around the edges wasn't possible. The optometrist said that my version is better than the one that the NHS has been recommending so that was a bonus :)

Addendum: As far as I'm aware, there's no one who reads my blog who currently has a patching child and would therefore be interested in a tutorial, but if that ever changes or if someone finds themself here who wants to know how to make one just leave a comment.

UPDATE: The tutorial is here!

The birds were Angry before. Now they're Ashamed.

2011-10-11T10:53:00.005+01:00

It was the boy's sixth birthday on Sunday. I know, right? SIX. I tried to negotiate with him to be five again (because I really enjoyed his five year old self) but we put it to a family vote and majority ruled he should be six. Maia voted for him to be a baby again. Other than cake and presents, it was pretty much business as usual.

Pictured: business as usual.

Oh, cake you say?..... Welcome back 'terrible baking' tag.

Inspiration from here. I dunno, a bit 'meh'.

Amazing, flawless, stunning, etc.

Cue bemused expressions. Yes, Jamie, I seriously did do that.

She might have danced, but she couldn't bear to look.

Postcards from the edge

2011-10-10T10:09:00.003+01:00

I had a great time in Belfast, eating out, shopping, chatting and catching up with sleep. However, on my return I found that our internet problems are back. Apologies, this is the most boring post in the world, but I am now at a point of desperation. If I can't get this sorted, it will kill my business. And quite possibly my soul. Please, can anyone with technical nous help me?

Here's the situation:

When we first had the wireless installed, I had heaps of problems. Internet worked in the morning, but changed to an intermittent connection in the afternoon. Four technician visits, a replacement of the router, tinkering with settings of Norton, all sorts of ipconfig stuff in cmd, it started working. I thought it was fixed.
There was a power outage on the evening I left. Up until this point, the internet had worked more or less all day long for a couple of weeks. Now, we're back to the old problem of a working internet in the morning and intermittent connection from the afternoon. All of the things mentioned above I have done again but no fixes this time.
By intermittent connection I mean that about two thirds of the time I either refresh sites I've been on or try to access new sites I get Server Not Found or Connection Timed Out errors. If pages do load (after hitting refresh refresh refresh refresh), the format is often all wrong with missing images or embedded content (like google ads, Youtube etc) showing the same Server Not Found error within the page. Clicking through almost never works.
When I'm in cmd after service has become intermittent, pinging google.com works occassionally, but most of the time it gives a server not found error.
From the time the connection gets poor, this is the case for all of our devices. Safari on the Ipad is slightly better than the PC at actually making a connection with sites, but it's still getting server not found errors and it is slow. This leads me to believe that it can't be PC or Norton related, but Virgin / router related.
Logging onto the router shows no obvious problems, although the error log can have quite a few 'time not established' critical errors about T3 time outs and DHCP WARNINGs.

The most frustrating (and baffling) thing about this is that it works for the first couple hours of the day. My normal work day with the kids at school and nursery is to sew while they're out and do all my computer stuff like blogging / updating sites / answering emails etc in the evening. Having to do computer things in the morning means that I'm not actually getting a chance to sew uninterrupted any more and it's only a little bit melodramatic to say this is ruining everything I've been working hard at over the last couple of years.

Can anyone shed light on this?

UPDATE: Now, 120% more boring! My diagnostics:

This boy is FIERCE

2011-10-04T11:46:00.004+01:00

Has everyone been reading all of the great tutorials in The Train to Crazy's Handmade Dress Up Series? I'm excited to be guest posting there today with my tutorial for a Viking Hat. Go and visit, I insist. But first, look how much fun Jamie is. He will never turn down the opportunity to pretend to fight.

Love. This. Boy.

Click the button to visit the whole series.

The Lone Ranger

2011-10-03T22:24:00.005+01:00

I'm off on a solo trip tomorrow to visit my friend Ruth in Belfast. And look where I booked us to stay for the first night...

Jealous? You haven't even seen the rooms yet. Do you think Ruth will like this sort of thing?

Genuine picture of a room. Not jesting you.

I'm not sure. I'm definitely trying this though.

I think she will enjoy that. If this sort of thing is wrong I don't want to be right.

The 'What is the World Coming To' Cover

2011-09-29T22:20:00.004+01:00

Although I will sadly shake my head at the injustice of a world where some people have IPad2s when I merely have a regular ol' IPad, I will make them covers if they ask nicely.

I'll even put in zippered pockets, a secret layer of neoprene, and a microfleece lining.

Go forth and snatch

2011-09-27T20:14:00.005+01:00

The stack of cut fabric from last week's sneaky peak ended up as.............................

Tunics! These are for Monkey and Bo's shop for their autumn / winter range. And rather lovely they are, if I do say so myself.

They are limited edition, with only one tunic each per size. So if you want one of these ~~incredibly sought after status symbols~~ tunics you better snatch it right up before someone else gets it and starts tormenting you on Twitter with pictures of their cool(er) child and all of a sudden you find yourself writing blog posts about being bullied and your friends rally and then it's war. No one wants that.

That being said, this one is my favourite and probably worth going to war over. Now go forth and snatch here.

The Installation Artist

2011-09-25T22:08:00.002+01:00

Maia has redecorated her bed. It is terrifying.

Modern Art / League of Gentleman / Eighth Wonder of the World/ Texas Chainsaw Massacre fusion.

The Incentivist

2011-09-24T20:39:00.003+01:00

A couple of weeks ago, my friend Cathy made me a delicious two course meal to reward me for not babysitting her kids. This was not because I am a terrible babysitter and need to be rewarded for staying away from other people's kids; I have read about 100 Babysitter's Club books so I am clearly well-qualified. I was supposed to sit for them and spent the weeking running up to the big day commenting on all of Cathy's foodie pins on Pinterest with 'The babysitter would like this for her starter', 'The babysitter would like this for her main', 'The babysitter would like this for her dessert'. I tell you, guys, being my friend in real life is seriously under-rated.

Because she is a better woman / cook / all-around-human than I, Cathy did make me black bean enchiladas and pumpkin biscuits. And when my babysitting credentials were not required due to Gustaf's last-minute illness (not nerves relating to my babysitting skillz, you cynics) she brought my my feast anyway. How awesome is that?

Fast-forward to my birthday, Cathy stepped up to the plate to babysit for us so we could go to the concert ~~and resent our humdrum lives because by rights we really should be rockstars~~. And because she liked the last needle roll I made, I thought she deserved one too.

Especially as she actually babysat my kids.

Sister Act

2011-09-23T20:23:00.003+01:00

I was recently commissioned to make two party frocks for sisters, coordinating but not matching. I must be turning over a new leaf because I'm letting people choose fabric I'd rather hoard all for myself.

For the two year old, a Monaluna fox frock that reverses to orange linen.

And for the five year old, a Castle Peeps frock that reverses to fuchsia velveteen.

Except for some less-than-a-yard scraps, the last of my Castle Peeps! I am quite sad to say goodbye to another favourite fabric, but there's a gap in my stash that's waiting to be filled...

The prodigal blogger returns

2011-09-22T20:04:00.005+01:00

The computer problem was resolved last week, but it took at least 100 hours to build our trust back. I was convinced that no sooner than I announce I'd fixed it, it'd be gone again, so thus I continued radio silence. You will notice I said I fixed it; despite four technician visits from Virgin, they were unable to find the problem. Lucky for me, I have a mantra:

And a phone with internet access. Using my phone, I googled and googled and googled. I did lots of things rational non-desperate people wouldn't do, like change the settings in my computer and the router and my security software and execute command prompts in secretive black screens. I am awaiting news of my honourary degree in computer science, or perhaps an OBE in the Queen's Honour List. So enough of that, I hope I will never have to use my 'Richard Branson personally hates me' tag.

And what have I been doing in abstentia? Heaps. Here's a sneaky peak of something I'm working on right now.

What have you all been up to?

This week the part of Hitler will be played by me

2011-09-09T18:40:00.004+01:00

After a year of slow / ineffectual internet connectivity in the evenings and weekends, I finally bit the bullet and upgraded to a package (allegedly) five times faster. The technician installed it on Tuesday morning and roughly an hour later I lost connection. For the last four days I've had the equivalent of someone flicking a switch on and off, allowing me one minute bursts of access for every two minutes without. Nothing is loading properly, with formats all over the place and images completely missing. Obviously I have taken dozens of hilarious pictures, but I can't upload them. Hours and hours and hours have been spent on hold and with the fault desk, with them maintaining there is no problem and me maintaining I have no internet. After threatening to leave, a repairman was finally sent yesterday and although he couldn't figure out what is wrong, at least he could see that it is wrong. Which is a start, but I have no idea when I'll be back online through the actual computer rather than my phone. So I leave you with a (not suitable for work) video that sums up my week, where I play the part of Hitler but with less fascism and no swearing........

I'm with the band

2011-09-05T18:24:00.004+01:00

Arcade Fire- Edinburgh Castle

It's just as well that there weren't heaps of comments urging me to immediately put The Green-Eyed Monster top into mass production in a single-handed sweat shop operation. I'm going to be too busy now that I'm joining a band. Specifically, this band:

Virgin Media was so worried about this development that they took away my internet for three days so I couldn't tell anyone or arrange the logistics.

From my detailed observations, the main prerequisite to joining the band is enthusiasm and I can work on that. Take a look at the drummer in the back with his hair in the air. That doesn't look too tricky.

The girls wear prom dresses. I can do that; I will pack my epilator.

The only potential barrier is lack of musical talent... this totally bad-ass (semi) front woman played the drums, keyboard, accordian, tambourine and sang in key. That's a lot of work, I will take over the tambourine.

NB. Not my video, I was too busy dancing.

The Green Eyed Monster Top

2011-09-01T12:55:00.003+01:00

Shall we just call this week Friend Sarah Week? Yes, she has already been regaled with a make-up pouch but I felt a bit boring making / gifting it so I wanted to make her something else.

The astute amongst you will notice that it is not, in fact, Friend Sarah modelling the top: it's me. I'm lucky that we're pretty much the same size and shape; whether she is lucky if up to debate. You might also notice that my top half is ready for summer, while my bottom half is languishing is Scottish pre-winter. That is because in less than two weeks, Sarah is off on a two week holiday to Italy. My favourite place. No one should be able to go to Italy without me, the injustice of it is maddening. It must be a sign of my increasing maturity that I made her a top under such trying circumstances.

The top is actually a wearable muslin (well, version two of a muslin). Scoop neck, batwing sleeves, and a side bust dart for a tiny bit of shaping. I can't remember the fabric content but there is definitely some evil in it, maybe poly-evil? I made the baby-est of baby hems but had to contend with a lot of slipping and warping. There are side slits and the back is slightly caped so her kidneys don't get a chill. Grandmothers everywhere rejoice.

My intention in designing this pattern was because I have some gorgeous Liberty silk that I though would suit a top in this shape, being nicely drapey and smooth, but now I'm second-guessing... What say you, internet?

Suggested comments:

Yes, have no qualms using your precious hoarded silk to do this.
No, have qualms. But use your silk to make (insert good idea).
I have a really good technique for seaming evil fabrics and it's (insert good idea).
Your ombre hair is bang on trend and I am pinning it.

The Redundant Pouch

2011-08-31T12:21:00.004+01:00

Even excluding present company, all the best birthdays fall in the last week of August... my Dad, my best friend from university, the object of my obsession, and Friend Sarah.

After the success of last year's capacious make-up pouches, a request was put in for a smaller model. Ostensibly, it's for her handbag; rationally, it's because she doesn't need that much makeup.

Using my body as inspiration, this pouch has a flat bottom. Also like me, it's able to stand up by itself.

I have it on good authority (Friend Sarah texted me) that it has already been trialled and deemed sufficient. I have very stringent quality control though, and have secured a night out tonight to confirm.

Hiring: Geek required

2011-08-30T12:56:00.005+01:00

When you go sightseeing does it look like this?

Or.... When you peruse your snack options does it look like this?

If so, I might be looking for you.

Due to lack of time / mental block, I'm looking to hire someone to do some coding for my shop. It shouldn't be more than a couple of hours of work but html/css knowledge is required. If you're interested, send me an email at amanda@kitschycoo.co.uk with details of your rates and why you are more awesome than other people. Special consideration will be given to those who can make a CSS joke as Google doesn't have a single one.

The Reverse Engineer

2011-08-29T18:52:00.002+01:00

I was contacted by a customer recently about making some custom sheets to fit her Stokke crib. I really wish I could see her nursery because the cruise-ship fabric she provided is ace!

It took some doing to get the pattern right because the Stokke mattress is oblong rather than rectangular... thankfully she provided another sheet for a template as my geometry skillz are not quite up to the task of determining the volume of a oval mattress and transferring that into a paper pattern.

According to the customer, the sheets she could find were either bland, prohibitively expensive (or both), so if anyone is interested in custom Stokke sheets, send me an email.

The Death Roll: now with less alligators

2011-08-26T16:10:00.004+01:00

Remember when I said 'if you geek me I will geek you back'? I should have added a caveat that I might take so long you'd be tempted to hate me.

Approximately sixteen years ago, Louiz sent me some lovely fingerless gloves that she knitted after I bleated on and on about my Raynaud's disease and consequential non-functional purple lobster hands. Although I had every intention of returning my affection in a timely fashion, I hemmed and hawwed for ages on what to make her. As far as I am aware, she doesn't have silly schoolgirl crushes like me and Apryl so Viking Vampires couldn't be involved in my gift. She is a respectable woman.

Finally, I felt so terrible that I hadn't gifted her back that I decided to make her a needle roll in her favourite colour purple. Knowing nothing about knitting (as evidenced by my illustrative use of paint brushes in the pictures above), I perused lots of tutorials to see what sort of features should be included. Dimensions that will accommodate needles? Check. A variety of different sized pockets? Check. Rollable? Check. Tie-able? Check.

Being a innovator, I decided to add some vinyl pockets at the bottom for these mysterious things called 'stitch markers' and whatever smaller knitting notions one might have. I was impressed with myself for thinking of such a handy feature. It turns out that there's a good reason why other people don't add vinyl pockets to their needle rolls: because it's evil to sew. But not as evil as me for leaving Louiz hanging so long.

In which I Exercise Restrait

2011-08-22T22:21:00.005+01:00

You know how I normally come back from the States with a bajillion new fabrics to torment everyone with? Not so this year, I exercised restraint. Bet you didn't think I had it in me. To be honest, restraint really didn't come into it; I've been alluding to Top Secret Going-Ons in Kitschy Coo Towers for the last six months or so, things are changing soon and bringing back heaps of fabric from the States is not part of the master plan. I did bring back a bit though, restocking my ever-popular geek stash:

And adding to my organics collection. If you can't remember things that happened yesterday (like me), here's the Monaluna Fox print:

And a bit of Monaluna Soar:

A dash of this Birch bicycle print:

And the Monuluna Scooters in Teal that I missed out on last summer:

It looks like I have a thing for blue this year. And the one new-to-me, non-organic fabric? The only grey fabric in my stash!

I really love the whole Sherbet Pips collection, but I admit to being irritated that the scooter prints have kids with winter clothes on as I think that really limits their use. Does anyone else get annoyed by 'seasonal' prints?

The Foxy Foxes

2011-08-21T20:15:00.003+01:00

By virtue of also having a birthday this week, Friend Sarah joined Club Kindle and quickly commissioned a cover from me. With only a tiny bit of persuasion required, I steered her in the direction of one of my Stateside fabric acquisitions.

If I was a bigger person and didn't care about people judging me, I'd totally french kiss this fabric.

I also found out from the woman I bought it from that this was the last bolt ever of this fabric. Guess who immediately doubled her order?

Situation Vacant

2011-08-19T21:59:00.004+01:00

This really isn't the first picture of Jamie and Robbie, just the first on this current computer. They're two.

Another one bites the dust, guys. I've mentioned before that I appear to trigger a diaspora within my (admittedly small) circle of super-close friends, forcing them to move outwith my immediate clutches. First BFF back to Australia, second to Northern Ireland, and tomorrow the first very close friend I made post-children is moving to the very south coast. Liz and I met in antenatal group when we were pregnant with our boys and we've spent somewhere between 1500 and 2500 hours since then eating biscuits, walking like it's our full-time jobs, and swapping tales of horror and schadenfreude. We had our boys, we had our girls, and the (two- four-) six of us have been a constant feature for the last six years. I can't even verbalise how much I'll miss her, my first mum friend. When we said goodbye this week Maia and I cried our faces off (Jamie alternated between playing his DS and offering us platitudes of comfort). But our loss is your gain: I have a situation vacant within my cosy coterie.

Female, 31, seeks similar for friendship and possibly more (and by more I mean intense friendship). Must enjoy lamenting fate, self-deprecation, being a dork, and coffee. Interests include Vikings, fabric porn, obscure films, travel*, and books.

And here's the bonus: TRAVEL. Steven is currently in Spain visiting his parents (post-accident, they are still there). Four full days. And he has taken all of his holidays so I will spend my birthday next week by myself / with the kids. Ergo- I deserve a holiday of my own.

Those in the UK, I await volunteers for travel companions. Those in Europe, fight amongst yourselves as to who will host us. I am at least 73% serious.

Splish Splash (and a burning question)

2011-08-18T20:38:00.004+01:00

I've been slowly making over our house in Operation: Save Our Collective Lives for the last forever, but one room that has escaped my clutches is the bathroom. Because a) it's the bathroom and b) it's the bathroom. But ever since I snatched the canvas off the wall to make the Orla Kiely organiser for the kitchen, the barren picture hook has been tormenting me. Luckily I have a million fugly canvasses awaiting decoration, so I snatched one today and got to work. (Those awaiting the burning question, scroll down to the bottom...)

Step one: Question my motivation for ever buying fugly canvas, find answers lacking.

Step two: turn normal striped fabric into chevron fabric by cutting strips on the bias.

Step three: sew them together in a nearly precise fashion.

Step four: staple and trim.

Step five: print words and trace them onto freezer paper.

Step six: use a craft knife to cut letters out.

Step seven: Iron the words on.

Step eight: Daub with acrylic paint.

Step nine: Peel and reveal.

Step ten: Hang and admire. Sigh that it's still the bathroom and therefore uninteresting to you (or more accurately: me).

Right, burning question time. Rather than just using Pinterest merely to organise my personal deficiencies into handy folders, I've actually been forcing myself to use it. Example: I'm obsessed with chevron fabric and have no chevron fabric, ergo I search Pinterest to tell me how to make my own. I know that Linky posts are a bit controversial, but would anyone be interested in a regular group feature (I mean a Linky *sigh*) of the things we've made using Pinterest for instructions or inspiration? Obviously, because I'm me, I reeaaaaaaallllllllllly want to see some Nailed It ones submitted too. In fact, that's the force compelling me. Like Cookie Monster, and this one:

Who's game?

And so it begins again...

2011-08-17T22:28:00.005+01:00

Another summer draws to a close and school begins afresh. Can you believe it's been a year since I wrote tender loving sentiments through the tears as his uniform was put on for the first time? *

Although it looks like they might have, don't worry, his little legs didn't break on the way to school. Like 98% of his physiogonomy-- not my genetic contribution.

Look who's popped in to share the joy of the first day back at school. Alas, a very short lived joy as it dawned on her at the school gates that her constant companion for the last seven weeks has been wrenched away.

If she could have, I think she would have glued her face to his.

*Rhetorical question. No pressure to leave a comment saying 'I can't believe it's been a year' or 'I totally thought it was a year.' Although feel free to start a dialogue about the speed in which this year passed like 'OMG, girl, this year!' and someone else can say, 'I know, right?'. Hold on, let me install Disqus.

Technicolour Yawns for All

2011-08-16T11:13:00.003+01:00

The sheer injustice of a single quilt between two kids was a situation that had to be rectified, and fast. Obviously, it would have made sense to delay the inveigling of quilts until both were completed, but logistically this was impossible when every stitch was supervised by the ever-present recipients. If I was able to weave the words, 'Are you done yet? Are you done yet? Are you done yet?' into a tapestry it would reach to the moon. And back.

Although I cut the pieces for both of their rainbow quilts on the same day, I ended up dividing each colour into three pieces for Jamie's so I could quilt the lines slightly farther apart without them becoming inevitably crooked. For the interested, Maia's quilt has 182 stitch lines and I didn't want to do that again. Jamie's has a slightly more reasonable 115 lines. Between the two, I completely decimated my thread stash.

The extra seam allowances meant I had to add two strips of white to the mix so it'd still be single-bed length. True fact of the day: it's impossible to take a good picture of a quilt on a top bunk.

Tutorial: A Hook Hack with Playmobil little people

2011-08-14T16:34:00.006+01:00

Breaking news: I got a couple hours by myself yesterday. I haven't been more than twenty feet away from my kids for twenty days now. I've been too ~~depressed frustrated angry~~ busy to blog. Playing babies, and animal babies, and shopkeeper of a baby merchandise store, and going on an airplane with a baby sitting next to you: full time job.

Anyway, yesterday I used my precious solo time to clean the garage and pee without bystanders. It was glorious. I also got my big girl toolbox out and did a spot of DIY. The wood was repurposed slats from a broken crib base that I painted green and fixed together to make a shallow shelf. The Playmobil people I bought off Ebay especially for this project. I power-glued the little people sitting on the shelf with their feet sticking out and..........

Snazzy new coat rack for the six billion hoodies they've amassed in their short lives.

Edited to add: So many people wanted to make something similar so here is a mini-tute!

What you need: Playmobil figures, acrylic paint, two wooden slats (mine are 23" long, 1" tall and 1/2" deep), a strong adhesive (I used UHU Power All Purpose Adhesive), hammer and nails, screws to fix to the wall)

The slats I used were repurposed from an old cot base because that's what I had handy. If you need to find something else that will work for this hack, the ultimate goal is a L-shaped shelf where most of the legs are supported but the feet overhang a bit. This means it'll be nice and sturdy with the weight of the hanging clothes being taken by the wood. If too much of the legs are overhanging and you were hanging heavier things like coats or grown up clothes, there might be too much pressure on the glue and the figures would want to tilt forward. Have a look at the top two pictures to see what I mean.

Right, use your hammer and nails to turn your two slats into an L shape. Paint the whole thing with two coats of acrylic paint and wait for it to dry. Lock your figures into the sitting position and mark the wood where you want them to sit. Apply adhesive liberally to so that the figure is glued to the wood both on the legs and along their back (i.e. wherever it makes contact with the wood, not just the legs). Firmly hold in place until the glue starts hardening, you can do two at a time. Repeat with all your figures. Once all the glue is dry, give each one a tiny wiggle to make sure it is secure. Re-glue if necessary. Secure to the wall with your screws and you're done!

The Technicolour Yawn Quilt

2011-08-08T20:07:00.002+01:00

I pretty much always sew ill-advised things when I return from the States. And then blame jet-lag.

Now I can blame Pinterest too, for showing me lots of rainbow lovelies to put in my 'Imitation is the Sincerest form of Flattery' board.

Do you remember ~~last week~~ when you were a kid and played too much Tetris and then you couldn't sleep because you were thinking about how you could slot all your furniture together and make them disappear? The last couple of days I haven't been able to look at anything without mentally quilting it into little tiny rows.

Pre-quilting I said to Steven, 'This is fairly heinous.' He made non-commital noises in my direction.

Jamie will not leave me alone about making him one now.

Ensembles and Explanations

2011-08-05T21:00:00.004+01:00

Hello Kitty patch

Thank you for all of your comments about Maia's patch and your thoughtful advice, it's day five now and she's blown my socks off with how stoic she can be. We've had a play-date with friends be-patched, and today we ventured into town for a movie, lunch and a spot of shopping and she's not put up a fuss at all. She has even answered questions from other kids today about why she was wearing it: 'It's for my eye to get stronger'. Subject closed and everyone moved on. She's a star.

Coordinates Hello Kitty from head to toe- seriously!

I probably should have said the other day that deciding to make her cloth eye patches over using the adhesive ones wasn't a whim on my part; I think some people were worried that making her patches was tantamount to refusing a cast for a broken leg and crafting a Popsicle stick splint instead. When we were at the optometrist, all of the options for patching were discussed and we were given a cloth patch to try on in the office (which I of course studied and then researched later), but the NHS doesn't give those out for free. I told the doctor that I'm a seamstress and we discussed what the requisite properties of an eye patch were: in short, to block the good eye from seeing at all. One of the advantages of a cloth patch over an adhesive patch (other than the irritation of an adhesive), is that a cloth patch allows the eye to be open where the adhesive ones tape the lid shut. If you can see from the closer-up pictures, the patch is darted at top and bottom so it forms a dome around the eye socket. This allows the eye to be open and blinking along with the other other eye, but unable to see anything at all due to the wrap-around onto the leg of the glasses and the coverage up onto the forehead and down to the cheek.

Red and pink hearts for red and pink ensemble

The greatest treat for Maia (beyond the comfort), is that every night she has picked a new fabric from my stash for another patch to match the next day's outfit. Perhaps not viable in the long term, but a small inconvenience for me to reward her for her bravery. I couldn't be more proud of her.

One, Two, Three o'clock, Four o'clock... Crock

2011-08-03T19:54:00.006+01:00

Once upon a time I used Pinterest merely to torment myself with the awesome things that people were making / owning / wearing / baking. Oh, and bookmark things that were inspiring and that I could maybe do one day. But mostly to organise my inadequacies into handy folders. Like...

If Only My Oven Worked

Let's face it, though, even if my oven did work I am probably more like to have this experience (also found on Pinterest and which made me laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh):

But then the Fairy Hobmother from Appliances Online read about my fecked-oven-ness over on Housewife Confidential (where I made a wish about having a working oven) and he made a wish of his own: for me to stop blaming the oven, the world and God for my cooking. So he bought me a slow-cooker. And so a new folder begins...

Crock of non-sh*t

Look closely and you will see...

Slow cookers can (allegedly) be used for baking! No excuses now, although I'm sure I'll do my level best.

The best thing for those of the altruist persuasion? The Fairy Hobmother just might visit a commenter on this post to make you stop whining too. Just leave your wish below.*

*I would imagine that wish fulfillment would apply only to people living in the UK. Not that I think he is personally racist (he's totally not), but logistically that makes sense. Wishes do not need to be of the appliance variety.

Going through a Painful Patch

2011-08-02T12:57:00.006+01:00

Sometimes we say, 'Oh, that was painful to make' because the fabric was evil, the machine misbehaving, or the pattern was tricky. But sometimes we make things that are just painful: things we didn't want to have to make, things that invite others to notice you're different.

At the optometrist yesterday for the first post-glasses check-up, her bad eye flunked. The glasses have corrected her vision in her good eye to passable but the disparity between her eyes means that information picked up by the lazy one is being disregarded by her brain and therefore her eye isn't getting stronger.

So now we need to patch six hours a day to force the bad eye to improve. The end result will hopefully be a success, but at the moment she's struggling to see at all. And asking valid (yet plaintive and heartbreaking) questions about why we're making it so that she can't see anything, and why everyone else doesn't have to wear one. Today she said she didn't want to go anywhere because she didn't want people to see her patch. For a very sensitive and easily embarrassed child, this is going to be a hard time for her. Without a doubt it's less hard for me, but I feel so sad for her and at a loss as to how to help.

The adhesive patch she wore yesterday removed skin and eyebrow hair when it was taken off so after a couple of hours of research last night I rustled up this prototype for a cloth patch. There's a couple of changes I want to make now she's had it on all day but it must be more comfortable than the adhesive one. And obviously-- pink. Parents of patchers/ those patched as a child / creative types / psychoanalysts... any advice on how I can help her?

I did not plan ahead for wedgies

2011-07-30T19:25:00.004+01:00

Beyond transporting sewing projects and good intentions 3000 miles to my parent's house, I even transported them (and my mum's sewing machine) to Cape Cod for our final week. Projects sewn? One. How do people who live near beaches and sunshine ever sew?

This swim cover up (I believe they go by the delightful name of Rash Guards) for Maia was born out of expediency. Deprived of sunshine 11 months of the year, deficient in Vitamin D, and unaccustomed to beaches without dead seagulls and tampons, we spent our entire first day on the Cape at the beach. Although diligent in our sunscreen application (or so we thought), the spray can nature of applying resulted in some unusual sunburns... Two Steven-sized hand prints on my back (which looked excellent for the duration of our holiday and still look awesome now) from where he 'rubbed it in' and a giraffe-like mosaic on Steven's back courtesy of me. I also recreated Face/Off by peeling my entire face off. You'll be pleased to know we did a much better job with the kids.

However. The nature of Maia's physique (and obviously the fact I didn't make her suit this year) meant that her bum devoured her costume constantly, and I did not have the foresight to put suncream on whole shebang. I did not plan ahead for wedgies. And so she got a sunburn.

Unfortunately, there was nary a swim cover-up to be found in the girl's section of the shops, and I needed one that was long enough to both protect her modesty and prevent more burn. So I picked up a bright green one from the men's section and drafted up a skirted version. I kept the neck the same, narrowed the shoulders, moved the sleeves in and slimmed them, made an a-line side seam to the original hem, and folded a casing in for an elastic waist. I kept the original hems so it should have been a really quick and painless project.

People who say 'It's what is on the inside that counts' haven't used my Mum's sewing machine. I don't know what was going on, but it behaved terribly. The thread kept nesting and nesting and snapping and nesting and snapping. And so: the first and last Cape Cod garment.

Tutorial: Sewing up your Pin Up Bathing Suit

2011-07-29T00:29:00.007+01:00

I know, it's scandalous I didn't finish this tutorial until almost a month after the last step. But just think about how prepared you must be now! In my defense, I was on holiday and didn't want to sit indoors for hours writing tutes while my family enjoyed the sunshine. And if I'm honest I feel a bit devastated that all the work I've done on this so far has only resulted in a handful of comments... but as the famous Magnus Magnusson said, 'I've started so I'll finish'...

To refresh, here are the previous steps:

Measuring for your suit
Drafting your suit pattern from your measurements
Preparing to sew (including list of materials, cutting your pattern, and general sewing information like stitch choices and about pinning)

And to remind you what the suit looks like (bonus: outside of my own dreary Scottish dungeon with a camera hiding my face):

New visitors to the blog, welcome. We don't know why I make strange faces so much, but discuss it at length.

I'm not going to give you a full-on bum shot, but this side view shows the coverage to the back and upper leg. For me: plenty. I would also like to add (and have edited the Drafting post to reflect) is that my mum allegedly wore my pink suit. I say 'allegedly' because being very private about such things, she wouldn't show me more than this:

Why is it noteworthy that my mum wore my suit? Because she is a very different shape to me and several stone lighter (ie several dress sizes and a very many inches smaller) and my measurements and suit still worked for her. Allegedly.

Here we go then, let's get sewing.

Right sides facing, fold a leg band in half so the short ends meet. Sew together close to the edge using your chosen stretch stitch, I emphatically recommend triple stretch stitch if you have it. You might find that the fabric with catch and bunch if you start stitching too close to the edge so I normally start at the middle and go to one edge and finish, and then start back at the middle going to the other edge. You can see that a bit in the pic above. Repeat to other leg band.

Fold a shoulder strap in half vertically with the right sides facing so the long edges match. Sew along this edge with your stretch stitch. Repeat for other strap.

Turn right side out and position so the seam you just made is centered, this will be hidden underneath your strap when wearing.

Right sides facing, place one of the front bodices on top of one of the back bodices so their side seams align. Sew this with your stretch stitch. Repeat at other side seam, and then repeat the whole process with your other front and back bodices. One will eventually be your shell bodice and one will be lining bodice, but both are identical.

Fold over the hem allowance of the ruched front piece 1/2" and then trap it (ie so you're not using pins) with your machine foot to hold it in place. Sew the hem with your chosen stretch stitch, I emphatically recommend triple stretch stitch if you have it.

Trim close to the stitch line.

Sew a long gathering stitch (straight stitch, long length) as close to the side seam edge as you can manage. By turning your tension up, it will gather it a bit for you. Repeat to the other side seam of this piece. Remember to leave long tails on all of your basting stitches, this is important! Put this piece, your leg bands, your shoulder straps, and your bodices to the side for a bit and get ready with your front and back outer pieces and your front and back lining pieces.

Change your stitch to basting (straight and long but with normal tension). Wrong sides facing, baste the outer front piece to the lining front piece very close to the edge on every side. Go slowly, especially if you're not using pins like me. Because you trimmed your lining slightly bigger than your outer piece, make sure that as you are stitching you can see a bit of the lining peeking out at the edge (as above). Because the fabrics are slippery, it's not hard to slide them where you want them. Don't worry if more of the lining peeks out here or there or if the corners don't perfectly line up at this stage, it really doesn't matter. What could matter, however, is if the stitch doesn't catch both layers as then your lining might not securely attach when you sew all the pieces together. It's better to catch more. Repeat the process to baste the outer back piece and the lining back piece together.

Very close to the edge (ie within the seam allowance) pin the hemmed edge of your ruched front piece to your front piece one inch from the bottom so that the wrong side of the ruched piece faces the right side of the front piece.

Tighten and adjust the gathers of your ruched front piece so it matches the side seam of the front piece. I haven't pinned more than the one pin at bottom corner, but if you want to pin, do it within the seam allowance only.

Change the stitch back to your chosen stretch stitch. Making sure that you are sewing to the left of your gathering stitch, slowly stitch the layers together, using your hands to keep the gathers and layers together.

Repeat on the other side seam and it will look like this.

Return to your basting stitch and baste the layers together along the top edge. Again, see how I let the lining peek out a bit so I know that it's catching all the layers.

Very close to the edge (ie within the seam allowance), pin a shoulder strap to the right side of the front bodice so that it is 1/4" away from the where the centre V starts dipping down. The placement of 1/4" from the V is important here.

Baste in place close to the edge, moving the pin when you need to.

Repeat for other shoulder strap.

On the back bodice, measure 3" from the side seam and make a mark close to the edge with a washable fabric pen.

Pulling the strap under the bodice from the front to the back, match up the closest / outer edge of the strap with the mark you made in the last step. If that doesn't make sense, I'm trying to say that the strap starts three inches from the side seam!

Pin in place within the seam allowance and then baste like you did to the front of the strap. Repeat for other strap.

Right sides facing, slip your other assembled bodice (the lining one) over the top of the one you've attached the straps to (the outer one). The straps are hiding in between.

Match up all seams and points along the top edge and pin together within the seam allowance.

Switch back to your stretch stitch. Starting at the side seam, sew along the top edge so that your stitching falls below where you have basted your straps. When you get to the top corner of the V neck, lift your foot and pivot down the V. Make sure you pivot right after where your strap lies (i.e. not while on the strap), you will be able to tell with your fingers where that is. If you pivot while on the strap it won't sit right when you turn it out. This is why you placed it 1/4" away in the step above.

Same drill when you get back to the top of the V: pivot just before your needle is on the strap. Continue sewing all the way around to where you started. You can see from the picture above that the stretch stitch falls below the basting stitch, the pins are within the seam allowance, and where I have pivoted for the V.

Cut a notch into your V.

Using the long tails that you left when basting, pull out the basting stitches that originally secured the straps to the outer bodice.

Turn bodice right side out. Switch to your basting stitch and baste the layers together along the entire bottom edge.

Right sides facing, lay the back piece on top of your front piece, matching up the side seams.

Using your stretch stitch, sew the side seam together to the left of your basting stitches.

In this picture, from left to right you can see the stretch stitch, the basting stitch that attached the ruched front to the lining / outer front, and the basting stitch that attached the lining front to the outer front. Each time you are stitching layers together, the stitch line moves to the left a bit (ie larger seam allowance).

Remember all the tails that you left in when basting? Gripping a tail, pull your basting stitch right out along the side seam. Repeat for all the basting stitches along the side seam. If you don't, they will snap when you put your suit on and the sound will make you terrified of wearing it!

In this picture you can see the side seam with basting stitches removed: lining, outer, ruched, outer, lining. Only the stretch stitch remains.

Match up the front and back seams along the bottom edge. Sew together with your stretch stitch to the left your basting stitches.

This is what it will look like when you are done. Pull out the basting stitches.

Now that the basting stitches are out, do another row of stretch stitching within the seam allowance. This is for added security as this is the seam you really, really don't want to split.

Except for the leg bands, the bottom of the suit is now complete.

Fold in half and place a pin within the seam allowance at centre front. Do the same to your front bodice.

Right sides facing, slip your bodice over you lower suit, matching the pins at centre front and the side seams.

Pin all the way around close to the edge (ie within your seam allowance).

Starting at the side seam, stitch towards centre front with your stretch stitch, to the left of your basting stitches. Stop when you get 1/2" from centre front and start again 1/2" from the other side of centre front (ie leave a one inch gap at centre front). Continue back to where you started.

This shows your gap.

Flip your suit open.

Fold your front tie piece in half vertically and sew with a stretch stitch the top edge, pivot down and sew the long edge about two thirds of the way down, stop, leave a 1/2" gap, and then continue down the long edge, pivot, and then the other short edge. See the gap?

Using the blunt end of a pencil or pen, turn right side out through the gap. There will still a small opening which you can slip stitch closed but (like me) you can just leave it. This bit will up inside your suit so it doesn't really matter.

Slide the tie through the gap at centre front so that the small hole in the tie (if you haven't closed it!) is just above the centre front, inside the suit. Holding in place, flip the bodice down and sew the gap at centre front closed, trapping one side of the tie to the inside and one to the outside. Sorry I don't have a picture of this!

At the leg opening of the suit, fold so that the crotch seam on one side. Match up along the leg curves and place a pin within the seam allowance where it folds at the other side, this is your half point.

Match up the crotch seam with the pin you just placed and line up the leg curves again. Two new folds will form, these are your quarter points. Place pins within seam allowance to mark these. Repeat for other leg opening.

Fold one of your leg bands so the right sides are out and the raw edges are together. With the seam to the left, place a pin within the seam allowance where it folds at the right (half point). Make sure you catch both raw edges. Refold so your pin and the side seam are on top of each other and the two new folds at the left and right are your quarter points, placing pins there to mark, making sure you catch both layers again. Repeat for other beg band.

Right faces facing (with all three raw edges to the top), place your leg band over your suit so the side seams match. Pin layers together within seam allowance.

Match up the pins marking quarter points and half points and pin together within seam allowance. After these four pins are in place, stretch gently so the leg band matches the leg curve and place pins within the seam allowance in between these four pins. Make sure you are catching both layers of leg band when you pin.

Starting at the side seam, sew the leg band to the suit 1/4" from the edge, moving the pins as you go and gently tugging on it with your hand so the leg band is stretching slightly but your leg opening is not. Go slowly so you can contiually check that both layers of your leg band are being caught by the stitch.

When you get back to where you started, examine the band all the way around to make sure are the layers were caught. If they haven't, you'll have to carefully seam rip and re-sew, but hopefully you'll be fine!

Once you are certain these seams are secure, trim close to the stitch line. This will remove the basting stitches holding the lining to the outer fabric around the leg openings. Repeat for the other leg.

Your suit is almost done! The final step is to pull out the remaining basting stitches along the seam attaching the bodice to the body of your suit, the ones that held together the lining and the outer fabrics. Now you should only have stretch stitches left, please make sure because, I've said before, if the basting stitches are still there, it will sound scary when you put it on.

Put it on, adjust your front tie, and you're done!

Go to the beach and get some snaps of your legs looking super stumpy by hiding the bottom half in the water. And then post them in the Flickr group.

I asked and the medical community answered: You're fecked.

2011-07-28T16:12:00.003+01:00

Remember the time that I worried that I had a small head and Google said I did and that I'd probably die because of it? Well, I never took my small-headness to the doctor. More fool me. Now, nearly eighteen months later and with my malady untreated, it's been confirmed:

Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you my new glasses. My glasses from the children's section. I don't know why I'm looking smug either.

Of boys and cars

2011-07-26T11:00:00.003+01:00

My normal drill is to bring a couple of projects with me to the States in cut form to be sewn together on my mum's machine. And then they come back to the UK still in cut form. I'm not very good about sewing on holiday, but I like to pretend that I might be. I did manage (by virtue of being a Super Quick Thing) to finish these matching jams for Jamie and Calvin from Orla Kiely car fabric.

I love catching Jamie smiling adoringly at people, although it's kind of his default.

Being sylph-hipped, his are more of the skinny leg variety than Calvin's, which needed room for a nappy.

And for quick getaways. This is one of about 267 pictures I have of Calvin evading pictures, and of various people looking at camera like, 'Is this kid for real?'

He's is so preternatually busy that you have a very small window in which to catch him stationary.

Although the chance to dissemble things doesn't normally pass him by.

Last of the Famous International Playboys

2011-07-21T21:14:00.002+01:00

For those of you who were not as maudlin as me in your teenage years (ie all of you), the title refers to a Morrissey song. I am not suggesting that Jamie is, in fact, a famous international playboy. Because he is five.

But clearly louche beyond his years.

And a bit cheesy in his approach.

The reluctant Manga model

2011-07-15T19:59:00.004+01:00

Courtesy of the huge expanse of the Atlantic between us, my niece is not subject to my relentless pursuit of modelling pictures.

Luckily, Maia (who is more than familiar with the drill) was on hand to administer tickles.

We're en route to Cape Cod today for the final section of our trip, where we'll be sharing a house with the entire family: eight adults and six kids! I see chaos in our future....

The Cabana Dress

2011-07-13T18:18:00.003+01:00

The last thing I was able to make in the last-minute sewing frenzy was this stripey dress for me. It's cut in the same exact pattern as the Disco Dress, but I think it's much cuter. You are obviously free to chime in your agreement. Dissent, not so much. If you look closely, you can see that I have bound the neckline with the stripes going in the other direction. Don't look too closely though as it wasn't done very neatly, but I have since bought proper binding feet for the coverstitch machine and I will re-do it when I get home and watch 16 hours of You Tube videos about how binding accoutrements work. They look terrifying.

Stripe matching is always impressive, but even more so when it happens after midnight.

Since you guys had so much fun with the Disco Dress and your speculation as to what strange modelling pose I was doing, here is today's mystery: what am I glaring at? Also, the theme of strange hands continues. It is genetic apparently.

Girl's Gone Scandi

2011-07-10T17:30:00.004+01:00

To clarify the title: Clouds are Scandi. Bubblegum pink trilbies emphatically not.

I tried out a new design with my newly minted obession with dolman sleeves, added a plain white neck-binding (trialing the coverstitch machine at inappropriate should-be-packing-or-sleeping-last-minuteness) and a waistband. Slightly more Eighties Revival than intended due to the loucheness of neckline, but with the 70s getting a shout out from The Disco Dress it's probably quite apt...

You and Me for another year

2011-07-09T14:53:00.003+01:00

Due to time constraints before our trip, rather than entirely making a summer wardrobe from scratch I pulled out the clothes I made for last summer to see if I could extend them for another year.

This picture is a rough approximation of how this garment started, as a simple peasant top. A three inch vertical jump in height from last summer meant it was showing rather more belly than intended though, so it became a jumpsuit.

Another year of wear, and another year of evading photo attempts.

The Disco Dress

2011-07-08T14:58:00.003+01:00

In my infinite wisdom, I decided the day before our trip was the perfect time to draft a new dress pattern. And try out my coverstitch machine. For the very first time. I know I bought it months ago. Stop judging me. I adapted my cowl neck pattern to a normal neck and switched the set-in sleeves for dolman-esque sleeves. The geometric knit was from the stash, and on such a big scale it really couldn't be anything other than a dress. Although in actual fact it really wants to be a jumpsuit so I can form an ABBA tribute band.

You are more than welcome to discuss the dress, or if you'd rather you can speculate as to what I'm doing with my hand in this picture. The Claw? Being threatening towards someone? Dance move? A gang sign?

Tutorial: Preparing to sew up your Pin-Up Bathing Suit

2011-07-07T13:08:00.004+01:00

Now that you've measured yourself and used those measurements to draft your suit pattern, we're almost ready to sew. But first I wanted to give you some prep on materials, cutting your pieces and the general sewing of the suit.

What you need:

Bathing suit fabric that has four-way stretch (it stretches both vertically and horizontally), normally from a 10%+ lycra or spandex content. I've seen bathing suit fabric that is nylon blend too but I haven't used it. A yard / metre will be more than enough.
Bathing suit lining. You don't need to track down actual lining fabric, I've self lined with 'outer' bathing suit fabric before but for this suit I just used a plain lycra in my stash. Must be four-way stretch as well though!
Stretch needles. I recommend having a whole pack handy because bathing suit fabric requires a very sharp needle (so that the fibres aren't split... you don't want holes in your suit!) and they get dull quickly.
A machine with a stretch stitch. Several people have asked if you need a serger for this suit and the answer is no. In fact, for this suit I used my regular machine the whole time. The stitch I like to use is a triple stretch stitch (check your manual to see if you have one), as it feels very secure and it's fairly easy to sew. If you don't have this stitch, you might have the 'lightening bolt' stretch stitch. This one is fine too, but personally I find it harder to sew as it can make the layers shift. If you don't have any pre-set stretch stitches you can use a regular narrow zigzag stitch. Test different stitch lengths and widths on a scrap piece of your fabric to find which combination stretches well without snapping the thread.
Optional: Wooly nylon thread. I've heard that this is the best thread to use for super stretchy products, but I never have and it's not been a problem!
Optional: Walking foot. Again, supposed to be good for sewing knits. Never tried it!

Cutting your pieces:

It can be tricky to figure out where your selvage is on four-way stretch fabrics as it stretches in both directions, but make sure you get it right as you want the majority of the stretch to be horizontal so you can get it on and off with ease!
Cut all your pieces on the fold. Once you have found your selvage, fold close the the edge to the width of your first pattern piece. Cut that one, and then keep refolding close to the edge as you cut the rest of your pieces so you are using your fabric wisely.
You will cut from your outer fabric: one front piece, one ruched front piece, one back piece, two front bodice pieces, two back bodice pieces, two shoulder straps, two leg bands, and one tie for the front bodice.
You will cut from your lining fabric: one front piece and one back piece. I used my pieces of outer fabric as a guide to cut my lining. I cut the lining pieces a tiny bit bigger around each edge to make sure that it would definitely catch when I basted them together.

General sewing:

You'll be using two different stitches, a stretch stitch and a basting stitch. Basting stitches will go close to the edge (about 1/4" if you can manage it) and the stretch stitch inside the basting line (about 1/2").
Although it looks incredibly messy (as you'll see in my construction pictures!), keep all the tails of your basting threads intact as you go along and don't cut them. At the very end you'll pull all your basting stitches out so having the tails will make it easier. If you don't pull your basting stitches out, you will hear them rip when you put your suit on and you will be terrified. Ask me how I know....
As with sewing all stretchy knits, raise your presser foot to its highest position to prevent wavy stitches.
When making a bathing suit I try to use as few pins as possible and just sew slowly while lining up the edges with my hands. This isn't as hard as it sounds as the fabric is slippery and fairly easy to slide into place. The reason why I don't pin very much (and when I do, I pin within the seam allowance) is that unless your pins are very sharp there's a risk that they will make small holes in the fabric that could become bigger holes when the suit is stretched.

I think that's all for the prep work, the final tute on sewing up your suit to follow!

Michael Crichton's new medical thriller will be about our holiday

2011-07-06T16:19:00.004+01:00

Despite radio silence we've arrived Stateside safe and sound. So many plans we had for swimming, playgrounds, ice cream, excursions, lounging, shopping, sewing (a little bit anyway)... instead we've been stuck down with a mystery illness and we're dropping like flies. Jamie was first five days ago and is still afflicted, me next, then Maia, then Grandma, then Steven, and now Cousin Isla is sporting the telltale husky voice and googly eyes. A fever that oscillates between 100 and 104 deg is not that much fun when the outside temperature is not much less! Hopefully we'll be on the mend soon and I'll finish the Pin-Up Bathing Suit tutorial series and post some pics of my last-minute holiday sewing.... How is everyone else? What have I missed?

The Amazing Psychedelic Holiday Experience

2011-06-29T02:21:00.004+01:00

This is what going on holiday looks like when you're five. Or thirty one, pulling an all-nighter because you had twenty eight things on your To Do list and we're off to the airport at 3:30AM anyway. I am so efficient, people, you have never seen anything like it. Everyone else is getting up in half and hour, and here I am doing stuff. Amazing.

For those of you who follow the blog for the express purpose of finding out when we're away so you can burgle us, do not even bother. Reasons why:

Queen of the over-packers. There is nothing left to steal, not even my new epilator.
We live in a flat, in a building full of geriatrics. They are always around, they never sleep and they're nosy as hell. Before you even get the first load of random, worthless detritus out of our house, there will be a passive aggressive note about you co-signed by the chairman of our building.
Google Analytics: You think you're so clever but searching 'when can I burgle Kitschy Coo' shows up in my analytics and now I have your IP address so you're basically already in big trouble.
Two words: Friend Sarah. Not only is she a policeman with keys to our house and instructions to hang out here, our house is within her actual beat. She is so bad-ass that she already knows about your nefarious plans and has instigated a covert sting operation to catch you as soon as you are within 100m of our property.

Catch you on the other side...

Tutorial: Draft Thyself a Pin-up Bathing Suit

2011-06-23T23:40:00.011+01:00

Okay, we have all the measurements from the last post... let's get drafting.

For reference, here are my actual measurements so you can see how they are used as I am drafting:

A=28"
B=28"
C= 31"
D=34"
E= 4"
F=4.5"
G= 3.5"
H= 5"
I= 11"

EDITED TO ADD: My mum is much smaller and a lot less curvy than me and this suit as drafted fits her too. So don't get too worried about the exact measurements, bathing suit fabric with its four-way stretchiness will compensate for a lot of the differences between you and me!

Get a giant piece of paper (at least a foot wide and two and a half feet long) . Mark a point at the left edge of the paper near the top of the paper. Draw a perpendicular line across as a starting point. Mark along this line your quarter rib cage measurement (A/4). Vertically, measure down the distance between rib cage and true waist ( E). Draw another perpendicular line here and mark a quarter of your true waist. (B/4). Vertically, measure down the distance between true waist and low waist ( F). Draw another perpendicular line here and mark a quarter of your low waist (C/4). Vertically, measure down the distance between low waist and high hip ( G). Draw another perpendicular line here and mark a quarter of your high hip (D/4). Connect these points and then gently curve them if required so the lines aren't angular.

After you have drafted that, you need to draft the front portion of you bathing suit bottoms. I'm going to go a little unscientific here, I cut up a pair of my boy-cut briefs to trace out for this bit. I don't think people will vary too much and the four-way stretch of the fabric will compensate for differences in-and-of-itself, however, if you're much bigger than me you might need to increase the width of the bottom line from 2.5" to something greater. Remember, though, we are drafting in quarters so an increase by half an inch to this line will yield a total of two inches overall.

Okay, measure down 3.75" from the perpendicular high hip line and make another perpendicular line. Mark 2" along this line. Measure down 3" from this perpendicular line and make another perpendicular line. Mark 2.5" along this line. Use your curve (if you have one!) to give curvy-ness to connect these points. If you don't have a curve, just free-hand it (see above). The higher you place your curve, the more high cut the leg hole will be. However, this suit is based on a low cut leg, if you want a higher cut leg you will want to move it above the high hip line and the side seam will stop somewhere between your high hip and low waist.

Trace your front piece onto another piece of paper so we can draft the back. I used semi-sheer paper so I could see the front piece at the same time. If you are very ample of bum (I am not!), you might want to increase the width at the high hip point by an inch or two and then re-draw your curve. This will mean that you have more space in the back of your suit than you do in the front, more bum coverage, and a bit more extra room in the leg openings.

On the first line below your high hip line, mark 2.5" along from the edge to match the width of the lowest part of the front piece (these will be seamed together). I made a little arrow in the picture below to show you what it matches with. Connect this point with the high hip point.

Now you need to decide the curve for your back of your bathing suit bottoms. Just like the front, the higher the curve the higher cut they will be. For my first two suits I used a slightly curved version of the diagonal line above, however, I wondered if perhaps it was slightly too low cut so I introduced a curve (which may or may not be too high cut!), shown by the blue arrows:

For the front ruched section you'll need to trace and slide the front piece you already drafted. Make sure you have a big enough piece of paper! First, trace the top box from the first step:

Then, perpendicularly draw a line three inches below this box. Slide down the front piece so it ends on this new line. Then trace the middle section.

Repeat this process to add another 3" between the sections. Trace and slide!

True up the sides so it has a nice curve. Then add half an inch hem allowance at the bottom.

Now for the bodice. Perpendicularly, you need to use the same A/4 (rib cage divided by four) for your base line. Draw this line. Vertically draw up five inches at the side of the paper (this is for busty me trying to completely hide my bra, if you are significantly smaller you can go a bit shorter). This is your side seam. Draw horizontally across and then down so you have a rectangle that is A/4 by 5" by A/4 by 5". At the top of the rectangle, find the mid-point horizontally and mark this point. Measure up so that the vertical measurement is the same as H (so that's 7" for me). Connect this point to the side seam where the top or 5" ends. At the 'Fold' side of your rectangle, find the mid point between the height of the side seam and the height at the apex (so for me that's 6"). Connect this line too so it slightly Vs at centre front.

For the back bodice, you need to do the same drill... The side seam needs to be the same five inches as you drafted in the last stage and the width needs to be the same A / 4 measurement. If you want, use your curve to made the back piece (as I did) curved down to 3.5" at the fold... or if you prefer, you can leave it right straight across.

Now you're done with all the tricky bits: you have a front piece, a ruched front piece, a back piece, a front bodice piece and a back bodice piece. The remaining pieces are rectangles.

For the shoulder straps, make a rectangle that is H ( for me this is 11") by 2.5". Write 'Fold' on one of the long sides, when you cut it the straps will be H by 5".

Using a tape measure, figure out the length of the leg curve of the front piece and the back piece. Add these numbers together and then multiply by 90%. Draft a rectangle that is this width (for me it was 16"), and 2" tall. These are your leg bindings.

For the bow at the front, draft a rectangle that is 2" wide by 14" long.

Okay, that's all the drafting! Part three on sewing it up to follow...

On your mark, get set... Measure for your Pin-Up Bathing Suit

2011-06-23T17:55:00.005+01:00

There were heaps o' peeps who asked for me to make a pin-up bathing suit pattern after I started making them last summer. I discounted it initially because I was so flummoxed about drafting standard sizes when women are so many different shapes... but then I thought... How about I tell you how to use your measurements to draft your own pattern*?

First, about the suit. Classic pin-up inspired shape with ruching to front, sweetheart neckline with adjustable tie, low-cut legs, and fat straps so I can wear a normal bra under it. I haven't inserted a shelf-bra / molded cups / unwired bra because: a) I can't be bothered b) I have three suits now and want to be able to wear the same bra with all of them. If you want something in-built, there are some goods tutes out there for that sort of thing. Here's proof that it's almost impossible to take a picture of your own back.

Okay then, I'm going to split it all up into several posts. First get you tape measure out and stand in front of a mirror (or get a helper), here's what you'll need to measure:

A: Circumference of your rib cage (where you would measure for your bra band)
B: Circumference of your natural waist (this is where you are the thinnest)
C: Circumference of your low waist (around your belly button)
D: Circumference of your high hip (around your hip bones)
E: Distance vertically between measurement A and B
F: Distance vertically between measurement B and C
G: Distance vertically between measurement C and D
H: Distance vertically from just under a breast, up and over the fullness, to a point that is perpendicular to the top of the armpit (where your bra strap normally starts)
I: Distance from point H over your shoulder to where your bra strap meets the band in the back

Next step I'll tell you how to draft the pattern from your measurements.

*A disclaimer: I'm more telling you how I made a bathing suit to fit me using my measurements. I can't promise that it will work out perfectly for people who are shaped very differently than I am. On the plus side, bathing suit fabric stretches four ways so chances are it'll work out! I will provide my measurements as I go but for those of you unfamiliar with my body, I am 5'4" and a UK size 10 (US size 6) on the bottom and no quantifiable size on top due to my 30GG chest. My torso is also very short.

Bad feminist, no biscuit for you

2011-06-22T20:17:00.003+01:00

Today I've been working my cotton socks off on a tutorial that will make at least three of you happy. More on that tomorrow. Can you guess what it might be? If you guess right I will actually follow through and publish it. If you guess wrong, I'll pretend this little post never happened.

As a place-holder, thank you for the hair commiserations on yesterday's post. To continue the theme of my burgeoning vanity and self-modification... if I was to make my brand spanking Epilator a cozy should it say Team God or Team Satan? I think Team Satan; a black cozy would hide the blood stains better.

The reality does not live up to the expectation

2011-06-21T18:57:00.003+01:00

Turns out, blondes don't have more fun. (Unless they find doing their taxes fun, in which case they have a blast.) Blondes also don't make the summer clothes her family needs for their holidays next week, because it's so flipping miserable out that they can't even imagine a world where summer clothes are required. They lack the blow-drying skillz of the professionals and no longer look ten years younger. They look like Justin Lee Collins:

Basically: me

They don't finish the very last details of their craft rooms they've been working on for a month because Pinterest has made them feel inadequate. They do, however, make Kindle covers for Friend Sarah's boyfriend.

Introducing Kindle Cover V.148, another addition to the Geekatarium.

A flap with elastic keeps the Kindle from roaming around whatever larger receptacle in might find itself in. I'm not saying he has a man bag. I'm just saying.

I have included a neoprene inner lining for safety's sake. Do not even stab it with your pencils, Tony, I have thwarted you. Probably.

If people don't want to talk about the Kindle cover, feel free to congratulate me on finishing my taxes half a year early. People who live in lands graced by the yellow orb in the sky can tell me what people wear in such alien places. Hairdressers can offer their services.

Blondes might not have more fun but hopefully they get more accurate directions.

2011-06-15T10:09:00.004+01:00

My friend Ruth is coming over from Ireland for a sleepover tomorrow and I'm keen to impress her. If she likes my new kitchen / sewing studio / decluttered underbed space / filing systems maybe she will move back to Edinburgh.

Anyway, her visit prompted me to use my Groupon hair salon voucher. This is me yesterday morning. Do not be fooled by my bathroom's heavenly appearance, it's next on the list for room makeover. This hair is directly responsible for two bus drivers blatantly lying to me about their routes.

And this is me after. This hair is directly responsible for one person complimenting me on my eyelashes, one person I gave birth to not thinking I came to pick him up from school because I am so unrecognisable, one person I am currently married to saying I look an unspecified amount younger, and one person I employ saying I look 'ten years younger'. Which when you're 31 years old has an additional bonus subtext.

Tutorial: Pimp your filing cabinet with fabric hanging folders

2011-06-13T22:43:00.004+01:00

As part of Operation: Save Our Collective Lives it's an ongoing concern of mine to get this house and family into order. I have done many things, I am currently doing many things, I am planning on doing many things in future. But one thing that is always carried from To Do list to To Do list is the freaking filing. I hate filing paperwork. Tricks must be played on my subconscious to get it on board. Do you remember I have played tricks on the subconscious before? It worked. But Pretty Solution One is now too full. Subconsious, I am now playing dirty. I will get you yet.

Want to pimp your filing cabinet / scare your rational non-psychotic friends? Here goes...

Start with a hanging file that already fits your filing cabinet. Note how lackluste it is and lacking the gravitas required to cradle your important family bizness.

Cut off the metal bits at the top.

Trace around the paper file you cut off, adding 1cm to both the left and right sides and 3cm to the top. Marking the fold at the bottom of the pattern piece.

Cut your fabric on the fold. Think to yourself, 'I'd like to put paper in this every day'.

Edge finish all four edges. A serger makes a super-quick job of it if you have one, an overcasting zig-zag on a regular sewing machine is fine too. Fraying edges will only make you angry about filing.

Press the 1cm allowances (of the long edges) to the wrong side with your iron.

Sew them down close to the edge.

Press the 3cm allowances (of the short edges) to the wrong side with your iron.

Sew them down close to the edge, to form casings.

Thread the metal hanging bits through the casing.

You're done! File away the two years of paper work you've collected in various parts of the house.

Disclaimer: 98% of you are going to think this is a completely mental use of time and fabric. But it's a very quick project (I made six folders in less than an hour) and I am hoping / praying / doing black voodoo magic that making my filing pretty might help motivate me to stay on top of it. Once I have a better idea of exactly how many separate folders are required, different colours and prints will be added for extra organisation. It's time-saving and stash-busting, right? Right? Anyone? Okay, it's probably just a bit crazy.

Right. Everyone in Edinburgh gets a tunic.

2011-06-12T22:26:00.003+01:00

Birthday Party Extravaganza has reached epic proportions. I don't understand it, there were very few birthday parties the rest of the year but now--- Every. Single. Weekend. For both the kids. It's so prolific I'm not even getting the chance to photograph the presents I'm making all these kids. Because I'm mostly sewing things an hour before the party.

The birthday girl on this occasion has the most beautiful ebony skin. I wanted to pick the most popping, the most brightest, fabric I have. Step forward Woodland Chain Organic from Birch fabrics. Do you know, before I purchased a (large) order of organic fabric I wasn't sure it'd be worth the extra expense? It's worth it. They are so crisp, with a really nice handle.

I almost feel I need to change this blog name to Tunics All the Time as that's pretty much all I've been making these days. Or Tunics and Jumpsuits. Speaking of which, to answer the questions from last post, weeing occurs when the jumpsuit is pulled right down. It's a peasant elasticated neck and elasticated waist so it's no bother what-so-ever for independant bathroom trips. The market is semi-saturated with jumpsuit patterns these days but any interest?

For Scottish summer comes but once a year...

2011-06-10T20:12:00.004+01:00

Scottish summer fell on 3rd June this year. One glorious day to last us the whole year. I mean, who would believe that the temperature would fall 13 degrees Celsius the next day (that's a whopping 24 degrees for you Fahrenheit fans) and stay there ever since? Answer: British folk.

So, really, Maia. I can understand why you look so glum. You know it's not going to last.

Nevertheless, I was prepared for Annual Scottish Summer Day because I've being working on her summer holiday clothes. You will have gathered that we are travelling to the homeland yet again, because if we were staying here her beach wear would look like this:

It will be evident to regular readers that I am becoming mightily jumpsuit obsessed which is 66% a projection of my own never-to-be-realised-jumpsuit-aspirations and 34% feck-it-there-is-no-matching-of-tops-and-bottoms-drama. This one is a polkadot interlock purchased donkey years ago from the mysterious M is For Make.

It's Friday night, we're all tired. It might seem like too much effort to comment. I will help you:

Obviously, I am more than willing to accept comments of the jumpsuit nature.
Or we could discuss weather. Although I am American I have lived in the UK for twelve years and, as such, a major milestone in my assimilation into the local population was my ability to be willing / able to discuss weather at any time. I am ready people: let's talk weather.
Finally, I will also be grateful for comments about Maia's hair. Albeit, it is possibly redundant to mention how beautiful it is. We all know that. But should it be shorn? The golden cape will be hot in warmer climes, and Dramagirl does not like being hot. Or cold. Or just right.