Fear Ye Not, bag makers

So the sewing machine came out for the first time yesterday. I've had a quite a few requests for clothes since I've been back but one whole month without sewing means I wanted to practice a bit first to get back into the swing of things. 'Hmm, why not make myself a new bag?' I thought yesterday. Because as I said the other day, I love my current bag, but it's is gross now. And being an internationally renowed childrenswear designer (my family in the States think I'm awesome, all right?), how hard could it be? The answer: So. Freakin. Hard. Here's a reminder of my gross but well-loved bag:


It's slouchy with a rectangular bottom, a long strap going around the perimeter, shorter straps with rivets at the bottom and sides to hold the long strap in place. Also, out of shot it has two rings that hold the long strap, and an integral zippered pouch pocket. So there we go, that was my task. And here were the obstacles:

• Problem one: I've never made a bag before and I don't know what I'm doing.
• Problem two: I couldn't bring myself to cut my gross bag apart, so I had to wing the pattern and construction.
• Problem three: My sewing machine is fecked. It won't sew in a straight line, it's pulling to the right. Cue some ugly sewing and way too much seam ripping.

Despite working on it all day long and into the wee small hours, I still haven't finished. And maybe I won't. Just the short straps and long strap remain, but I'm not sure if I'll give it anymore of my time. Some of the sewing is so ugly. Exhibit one:


And here's the base, which despite giving me a headache of mammoth proportions looks pretty good if I do say so myself:


So Fear Ye Not, bag makers, your crown is safe. But I would appreciate some friendly advice.