Accidents do happen, to the best of us

If you're a mum, you've probably heard those immortal words 'It was an accident!' more times than you've had hot dinners (or at least hot dinners not cooked by yourself). Toys mysteriously in the toilet? It was an accident! A saliva ring on the back of a sibling's shirt that looks uncannily like an attempted bite mark? It was an accident! A massive seed from the garden shoved so far up your nose that it was undetectable for days? An accident! But sometimes, my friends, it really is 'an accident'.

Take yesterday for example. My sewing machine and my overlocker have been fecked (this is the technical term) for such a long time. Obviously they've still been usuable, but they're clunky and irksome. I've been giving my machines The Finger, lots. But every time I tell myself, 'GET THEM SERVICED!', something comes up. However, as you might have noticed, all my shops remain closed. And so they shall remain, until I can get lovely, well-functioning and pleasant machines.

When I phoned up today and asked how long it would take, I was told three weeks was standard. After dying, being given CPR by Jamie, and recovering, I explained to the owner that I was special and couldn't be expected to cope without my therapy machines for that length of time. Because losing my machines would feel a bit like this:


'I see...', he said, after I faxed him the diagram of me missing an arm, 'Well in that case, we'll have them back for you next Tuesday or Wednesday.' That's still a long time, but I have patterns and website work to do. 'Okay, then, I'll bring them up,' I said.

The minute poor Steven came in from work, I informed him he'd have to drive through the depths of Hell Edinburgh at rush hour. To punish us for rejecting the congestion charge, the government has dug a massive trench in the middle of every single road, put a fence and elaborate one-way system around it, added some temporary traffic lights for good measure and then moved on. We packed The Most Irritable Children in the World *TM into their carseats and up we went. Driving by the shop, Steven slowed enough for me to jump out and ninja roll out of the path of an errant bus (whilst holding machines of course). 'Go find some parking, I'll just be a minute,' I shouted. I could still hear Jamie screaming 'I come with you!!' halfway down the road.

'Hello, I spoke to you on the phone. Here's my machines.' said I. 'Great, thank you. You can put them over there,' said he. Struggling to carrying the lumbering machines to add to the heap of more than seventy machines waiting to be serviced, that's when it happened... I accidentally stumbled and *cough* bought two new machines *cough*. Okay, maybe I didn't stumble. But I did accidentally buy a new sewing machine and a new overlocker. Oops-a-daisy. While Steven sat in the car with The Most Irritable Children in the World *TM for a very long time. Whoops. It was an accident.