Saturday 15 May 2010

16

The mythological diabetic death cake

Yes, I know you might come here to see the clothes. But when it's birthday time, let's face it: you're here to indulge your baking schadenfreude. I am never less aspirational than when I bastardise cakes. If you're new, you might want to check out the Bell's Palsy Jaundice Super Why, the volcanic Fifi, a cake interpretation of when Peppa Pig gets Leprosy, and the Thomas the Tank by way of ironic Surrealism. This time I had expertise on my side with the acquisition of this book on outlandish cakes:


But I also had dire baking skills, and our lack of functioning oven working against me. Never one to back down from a challenge, I set off on the bus on Wednesday night with a backpack of ingredients to my in-laws to use their oven. After the batter was mixed, I realised that there were not enough cake pans there (or perhaps anywhere in the whole world) to bake the requisite pieces for my cakey tour de force and I was forced to pour batter into everything with a base and sides. Be thankful they don't have any aluminum dog bowls. And then I had the realisation that I needed to bring all these cakes back to our house in a backpack, so I had to cut those 45 cakes into 45000 smaller cakes and precariously stack them into said backpack. Like cake Jenga. Fast forward a day and the assembly and decoration loomed. Once I checked out the outline template, it was clear that the final cake would be enough to feed at least 100 people, so big in fact I had to cut up a gigantic cardboard box to use as a cakeboard. Gallons of buttercream frosting covered all the Frankensteined joins between pieces, acres of sweets and candies sat atop the frosting as decoration. Be very afraid, diabetics:

It's a mermaid. Clearly.

To appreciate the sheer size of it, look how I have to hold it with two hands. I almost couldn't get it through the doorways.


We've only eaten the bottom right adjunct of the tail so far.


Maia had her heart set on one of cakes that utilised integrated Barbies to recreate girly ecstasy, but I talked her round to the mermaid. They were rather impressed if I do say so myself.

16 comments:

  1. awsome.. though I'm sorry I am giggling over the poor mermaid amputee.. which really isn't funny at all but the cake really looks awesome, you are definitly getting better... and you know you could have just bought cake and reassembled it without this whole backpacking lark... but that wouldn't have been nearly as much fun to read about.

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  2. Above and beyond the call, clearly.

    Why talk her out of the integrated Barbie, though? Are you talking about those dome cakes with the half doll on top? We love those for 3-years old in our family, because you can seriously get your princess on when decorating the skirt. :)

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  3. Your skillz put the rest of us to shame!

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  4. Honest to God I think this is the best thing I've ever seen Amanda, I'm totally jealous!

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  5. I love her, she's wonderful, well done you! One question, when do we get to hear the tragic (and probably side-splittingly funny) story of how she lost her lower arms?!
    xxx

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  6. Amazing cake, am so impressed with your cake skills.

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  7. Amanda that is one wicked (pun intended)cake. I'm not seurprised they were impressed, I am!
    Seriously, seriously good.

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  8. That is some cake! Well done you. Its fantastic. x

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  9. ha ha ha! i wasn't going to mention the arm stumps but as they've already been discussed . . . . ha ha ha!
    seriously though that is a great cake love the candy hair and shortbread petticoat tails bikini!

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  10. I think you are getting better with practice. I always bake more cake then we can eat in 3 weeks. My daughter's 3rd birthday cake was supposed to resemble a jewelry box, including sugar gems I made and various candy necklaces. Had to chuck it as it grew a lovely white mold before our family ( i.e. me and the Mr.) could finish off half of it.

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  11. Fabulous! I loved the other cakes too. I make my kids' cakes every year too. Isn't it fun to embarrass yourself for their amusement? I think it shows them that you can try something (year after year) even if you're not good at it (and never getting better at it in my case - not yours!).

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  12. That is ace!! The mermaid is almost as big as Maia!! Happy birthday to her too...I missed her birthday.
    Send some chunks to the childminder and nursery, that should get rid of it before it grows mould ;)

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  13. great cake - I have an older version of the dreaded aussie cake book, very threatening indeed.

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  14. If Maia ever accuses you of not loving her when she is older, show her this cake!

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