Sunday 4 December 2011

7

The Alternative Christmas Gift Guide

It's that time of the year when the air is filled with the dulcet tones of my progeny chanting 'I want that, I want that, I want that' at every commercial and catalogue they see. Lengthy and precise letters to Santa have been written, and every adult within a ten mile radius (whether we know them or not) has been instructed what to buy.

Gifts for the girl
Steven and I have been arguing about to what extent to give into Maia's wish fulfilment. Never has a more gender-stereotyped child walked this Earth. The feminist in me objects to at least 80% of her list; she does not need anything in her life that solidifies her notion that girls are vapid and superficial.

The girl wants a Barbie head, ergo I will get her this one. I win.


The girl wants a My Little Pony, ergo I will get this one. Two- nil.


Gifts for the boy
Not as contentious as his sister's. Batman-centric.

I've mentioned before about Jamie's deep-seated fear of bears. Will a poster of Batman Bear change his mind?


Nah, probably not. This ursaphobia is seriously disruptive to our lives: the hall light needs to be on overnight with their bedroom door open, he requires a chaperone in every room in our own flipping house for fear of The Bear. Bat-Bear is cool, no doubt. But this level of fear calls for some aversion therapy:


Worried about finding youself inside a bear's stomach? No need. So plush and cosy.

7 comments:

  1. If he sees you in that bear costume, that's it, you're stuck with the bear phobia for life. No more trips to the bear park or bears-R-us, think long and hard about that purchase.

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  2. ...or, my son has a dog phobia, and we are getting a dog after Christmas - maybe you should get a bear? You would look totally bad-ass walking that at the park.

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  3. Sure you don't want this barbie head http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_fullxfull.90467716.jpg

    or this my little pony is nice http://www.morbidementia.com/images/horror-movies/My-Little-Pony-Jason-Voorhees-by-Tat2ood-Monster.jpg

    *now I wants them* O_O

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  4. Tempting but you may find yourself accused of severe childhood trauma inducement in 30 years tome.

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  5. This post has really cheered me up. I needed something to put a smile on my face. Thanks.

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  6. This post has really cheered me up. I needed something to put a smile on my face. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete