Why should you be concerned about this picture? Beyond the fact that I look like Dorkness Incarnate? Because that's a hat for a two year old. Which means I have a very small head. I remember learning in high school that one of the manifestations of cretinism (as in actual cretins not slandered cretins) was a small head so I thought I'd do little search to confirm. And what did I find? That your morbid curiosity might have saved my life.
That's right. On top of the three suspected serious illnesses causing my hair to fall out, it's possible I have a further 778 diseases purely for having a small head. And thirteen of them are very rare, so expect a documentary about me on Channel 4 in the New Year. Called 'Me and my small head are riddled with rare diseases'. These are just the ones that start with the letter A:
Anyone else this the repetition of 'small head' is practically taunting me? I was further alarmed to find that my small head is causing me all sorts of problems. When my ears hurt? Small head. Depression? Small head. Mouth ulcer? Small head. Next time Steven complains about my behaviour, I'm going to say 'There are 481 reasons that my bad behavior is directly attributable to my small head. Stop persecuting me.'
And my long term prospects? Not good:
Luckily, I found a very helpful worksheet that will help me focus before the inevitable doctor's appointment.
Isn't the power of the internet amazing?