Tuesday, 22 December 2009


The internet saved my life

When I made a passing reference yesterday to the fact I can wear Maia's hat, I didn't expect to receive thousands of emails and comments begging for proof. And I didn't but, hey. So here I am giving that hat the thumbs up:

Why should you be concerned about this picture? Beyond the fact that I look like Dorkness Incarnate? Because that's a hat for a two year old. Which means I have a very small head. I remember learning in high school that one of the manifestations of cretinism (as in actual cretins not slandered cretins) was a small head so I thought I'd do little search to confirm. And what did I find? That your morbid curiosity might have saved my life.

That's right. On top of the three suspected serious illnesses causing my hair to fall out, it's possible I have a further 778 diseases purely for having a small head. And thirteen of them are very rare, so expect a documentary about me on Channel 4 in the New Year. Called 'Me and my small head are riddled with rare diseases'. These are just the ones that start with the letter A:

Anyone else this the repetition of 'small head' is practically taunting me? I was further alarmed to find that my small head is causing me all sorts of problems. When my ears hurt? Small head. Depression? Small head. Mouth ulcer? Small head. Next time Steven complains about my behaviour, I'm going to say 'There are 481 reasons that my bad behavior is directly attributable to my small head. Stop persecuting me.'

And my long term prospects? Not good:

Luckily, I found a very helpful worksheet that will help me focus before the inevitable doctor's appointment.

Isn't the power of the internet amazing?


  1. kitschycoo, can I marry you? no - wait - we're both shackled already. guess I'll settle for just loving your blog xx

  2. Thank you very very much for the humor before my morning coffee. By the way, my 1 yr old can wear my hat...

  3. Imagine my chagrin... while giggling at your dilemma and potential for dementia, I saw the category below it. Since I do indeed have long legs, It appears that I have an increased risk of diabetes. So in addition to being taller than a lot of the cute guys in high school, never having pants that covered my ankles, and being in the back row for every picture and the bottom row of every pyramid, I'll probably develop a serious disease. Merry Christmas!

  4. Fab post, almost spat the coffee of my work desk and love the picture!! Karen x

  5. Fab post, almost spat the coffee of my work desk and love the picture!! Karen x

  6. I may actually be in love with you - thank you so much for that!


  7. my two sisters and I have small heads! I had no idea...
    thanks for sharing your great sewing ideas!

  8. should I worry that Boy has an exceedingly fat head then? I mean it can't all be brains because well he is... well he is just himself... he wears an 10-12 year olds hat... though so of that can possibly be attributed to his wild curly hair.. that M has had trimmed and I am very peevish about as it is shorter than I specified... although he dosent look like he should be in boot camp, or deloused in ye olden-y dayes.... it could be possible that I have a small head too but its hidden by my thick unmanagable hair... I wont know till I do a Britney and I don't plan on it anytime soon...

  9. Oh my goodness what a fabulous post and to think I've always been jealous of those with small heads (the ones who can fit funky hats on).
    If you ever get the rare disease, I'll visit you in hospital. I'm a big fan of grapes and with so many great friends you're bound to have some spare ;-)
    nic xx