Monday, 6 June 2011

14

Absenteeism

When there are big things happening and worries on my mind, I find it hard to blog. As happened when I realised Maia had a lazy eye, the act of Not Acknowledging takes on a life of its own and robs me of my voice. For the last two weeks, I haven't known what to say. Sure, I could've posted pictures of the heaps o' projects I've completed in the last two weeks, or a photoshopped glory of Kate in a tiger suit with an angry Alexander Skarsgard (actually I can't do that because she very unreasonably will not let me see a picture of her head) but I've been paralyzed by the worry that by painting a picture of 'normal blog service' I am being inaccurate. Admittedly, that's harsh- when I read other blogs I don't expect full disclosure of everything that is angst-ing the writer; neither do I feel betrayed if people only choose to share the beautiful and the happy. But for me, I struggle.

In a week that included an emergency extraction and dental abscess for Steven and the sad passing of his Nana, my mother-in-law was seriously injured in an accident in Spain when a steel sliding door at their holiday home came out of its tracks and crushed her. A broken shoulder and pelvis may not sound lucky, but it was very close to being even worse. The road to recovery will be long and hard, and unfortunately a large part of it will be in Spain. As a daughter in law and a friend, I feel tremendously guilty that I can't support my mother- and father-in-law in a tangible way. I feel guilty that life with our small family goes on, while our larger family's is on hold. I feel guilty that documenting our lives going on as normal is an affront to the people whose realities have changed.

So, a caveat lector on all posts from here on in: Normalcy by the author is greatly overstated. Behind the scenes, we're anxious and we miss them.

14 comments:

  1. sorry things have been so hard, if I'd known that, I might haven given you a pic of my head to work your Photoshop magic on. But I'm still not going to. Hope things ease up soon...

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  2. So sorry to hear this sad news, best wishes to your family and I hope your mother-in-law recovers fully and quickly. xxx

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  3. Sending you some virtual hugs, for you and to share amonst your family. No on expects 'normal service' when there are things way more important than blogging.
    Hope things are looking better soon and that your mother-in-law mends quicky and as pain free as possible. x

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  4. Big hugs to you all. Look after yourselves and don't feel guilty unless you have a spare private jet or something... I hope everyone heals quickly and normalcy resumes.

    I'm still stalking you by the way, even if I've been a bit lazy with my comments and curtain twitching lately... Life is busy, no?

    Take care of you and yours and know I am thinking of you (in the creepiest way possible of course....). x

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  5. Sending you all big hugs and thoughts of quick healing. Don't feel guilty, shit happens and there are enough things to feel guilty for as a amother, you really shouldn't be adding to them! x

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  6. Don't feel guilty. We have had to continue with the grinding normality of life with small children whilst my sister lives through earthquakes on the other side of the globe. Its pants.

    Guilt is a waste of energy and helps no-one. You'll do what you can do to support - even if its just listening on the end of the phone. But the kids take priority - and the rest of your family know that.

    I hope she recovers enough to get home soon.

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  7. Oh wow, I'm glad she is going to recover. Sorry there is so much going on right now. I hope your coming weeks are brighter.

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  8. Poo- hope that is an end to your families sad news.Hugs x

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  9. You have all been going through a horrible time. Please try not to feel guilty about not being able to be with your in-laws. Just the fact that you are thinking and caring about them will help - I know because I went through horrible health issues earlier this year and cards, letters and well wishes from friends and family who lived far away helped my recovery a massive amount.

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  10. Love you guys loads and loads xx

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  11. How awful - hope she makes a speedy recovery. My mother-in-law actually fell in Japan a few months ago and she and my FIL flew home to Florida with her broken arm and leg not having been addressed. I can't imagine the agony of the trip, but my husband drove her straight from the airport to the ER and she had surgery the next day. It's a long process - don't feel guilty about not being there since she's getting the care she needs.

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  12. Don't feel guilty. It's a waste of energy and doesn't help anyone. Take the guilty energy and do something positive with it, whether it's a positive thing for you, your little family or your big family. Hope everything heals soon x x x

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  13. Hey lovely, sorry things have been tough for just lately. Big hugs and I hope things ease up for you all soon.

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