The absolute worst thing about being bed-ridden over the weekend was missing the anniversary of International Day of Delurking, my favourite event from last year. It is the day that we celebrate the army of readers-but-not-commenters, and invite them to say hello. Now, enticing a lurker out of their lurkiness (or even their Reader of choice) is never easy but I have recently disabled word verification to ease commenting, and I've prepared a whole new litmus test of my blog visitors' relative sneakiness. Horses, pandas and alligators are so 2011.
Google Image Search declares this cat the most sneaky animal in the world. Google, adjust your algorithms as this cat is not at all sneaky, but forlorn. Ironically, if he was allowed to poop outside, he'd probably be heaps more sneaky as he'd have to find places to do his business without the neighbours getting angry. On International Day of Delurking, the role of Obviously-Not-Sneaky-Cat is played by the regular commenters. Substitute a desire to poop outside with 'comment regularly and be celebrated for it' and we have a direct match.
Now we are into the grey area: the creatures that are allegedly sneaky but Google Image results do not prove beyond a doubt. Occasional commenters who would really prefer to lurk (but might have a question for me), today you play the role of Possibly-Sneaky-Raccoon. For photo-ops and meal-sharing you put on a brave face to hide your sneakiness but your true nature is the raccoon at the back.
At last, we have Legitimately-Sneaky-Squirrel who waits for you to be so preoccupied with capturing the perfect shot with your camera that you won't notice when he sneaks up onto your backpack. With the preponderance of photo-taking angst from me this year, all we need to do is substitute backpack for 'blog' and Sneaky Squirrel becomes the perfect metaphor for Kitschy Coo lurkers. Don't fret, lurkers, I've noticed you on my backpack and love you just the same.
Well, I hope I've done enough anthropomorphising to land me some comments. Regular commenters, do you relate to Not-So-Sneaky-Cat? Occasional commenters, which of the five raccoons best encompasses your nature (or are you best suited to 'raccoon not pictured)? Uber-lurkers, I am giving you one more bonus conversation starter:
The almiqui: super sneaky or super scary? Discuss.