Toast: A short play

Setting: Day 456 of Jamie having toast with peanut butter and jelly for his dinner. Mom exits kitchen with toast in hand, encounters Jamie in the hallway.

Jamie (executing quick about-face, runs frantically into the living room and throws himself onto the floor): No toast, no toast, no toast, no toast!

Mom (casually overstepping the prostrate Jamie, attempts reverse psychology): Daddy, here's your toast with peanut butter and jelly for your dinner.

Jamie (slithering around floor): No toast, no toast, no toast, no toast!

Dad (awakening from obligitory post-work slumber on couch, joins reverse psychology effort): Jamie, that's not your toast, it's Daddy's.

Jamie (purple with rage): No toast, no toat, no toast, no toast!

Mom (continuing the facade): Jamie, stop it. It's not your toast, it's Daddy's.

Jamie (foaming at mouth): No toast, no toast, no toast, no toast!

Dad (feigning casual nonchalance): Hey, Mom, what's Jamie having for his dinner?

Mom (feeling exasperated and multilingual): Nada.

Jamie (short pause of consideration): No nada, no nada, no nada, no nada!

Mom and Dad share a smirk of smug superiority.

Mom (winking at Dad): Hey, Dad? Would you like some Nada?

Dad (gleefully): Yes please!

Jamie (covering his ears): No nada, no nada, no nada, no nada!

Mom (with sheer abandon): Hey, Maia, would you like some Nada?

Maia (enthusiastically): Yeah, yeah!

Jamie (curled up in ball): No nada, no nada, no nada, no nada!

Mom (jubuilantly): Looks like everyone's having some Nada!

Jamie (short pause and with perfect calm): I would like toast.

The End.

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