Go Girl Power! (Maybe)

Today I thought I would give you a well-earned respite from my applique endevours and talk a bit about my little girl. Maia is under-utilised blog fodder. She doesn't have the food, sleep or authority problems that Jamie has (at least not yet), and only pops up here when she undergoes catastrophes or is an adorable model for my wares. But I could blog about her all day, every day, because she's hilarious.

I don't know about the rest of you mums with girls, but I want to teach Maia that she can do anything. I want her to grow up happy and fulfilled, and to do stuff that she loves doing. I study her and note the things that she likes to do and wonder, 'Hmmm, what will you be?'.... And then I crap myself. Because based on her current interests, she's likely to be one of these:

• A hellion: Numerous people have noted that Maia is going to be hard work when she is a teenager. She is very strong willed, she does what she wants to do and doesn't do what she doesn't want to do. End of. Given a pen and a minute without eagle-eye supervision, she attacks any available surface (read: graffiti artist). She covers her skin with elaborate ink drawings (read: tattoos). She covers her face in stickers (read: facial piercings). At this point, I would like to preempt a comment from my parents: I also was hard work as a teenager, I got a tattoo in my teens and at one point I had 11 piercings.

• A member of GLOW: For the uninitiated, this acronym stands for Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling. She loves a tussle, and is rougher and stronger than her big brother. She already has a costume (and doesn't she look formidable?): I think her name will be Maia 'The Trebuchet' Jones because she already has a signature move. She lies on her back, lifts her legs towards her face and then suddenly drives them back towards the floor with alarming pace and strength. I've been a recipient of one of these hammer blows and it's no laughing matter.
  


• A mammographer: Despite the fact that I stopped breast feeding her a year ago, the girl is obsessed with my breasts. Anytime we are within close proximity, she has at least one hand down my top, usually with the other hand holding my shirt out of the way so she can admire her handiwork. She is nothing if not thorough.



• Pole dancer: She likes being naked, she likes to dance. In fact, I doubt there is anyone in the world who likes being naked as much as she does. All day long she implores 'Nek, nek' in the hope that I will strip her off and let her run amok. When she was about 5 months old and first pulling herself to stand, her chosen apparatus was the metal pole support of her swing. Being unsteady, she would wobble and gyrate around said pole. I said to Steven, 'Look at her, it looks like she's pole-dancing!' For the record, it is inadvisable to say this to a Dad. If you were worrying that I might produce a naked dancing picture or *gasp* photoshop Maia's face onto a poledancer's, have no fear! Because I found this one instead:

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