Saturday, 15 August 2009


Lovefests and Playgrounds: Part Two

Things started so well. The house on the lake, and the lake itself, were beautiful. From the moment me and Baby Calvin clapped eyes on each other, it was True Love. We immediately set about starting a Mutual Appreciation Club with only two members (although Jamie and Maia would like to be members too).

He's even more gorgeous and good-natured than I'd imagined, and he's so chubby his knees look like big muffins. He clearly adores me, and he thinks that everything I say is hilarious, even if I am telling him that we can't be together because of the age difference and shared genetic material. The first 24 hours in Vermont passed without incidence. Jamie, Maia and Isla were getting on famously and life couldn't have been better. Well, it could have if Paypal was willing to let me spend my own money but we'll not dwell on that.

Steven and I and the kids took the next stop on our 2009 New England Playground tour on Saturday afternoon while Isla was napping. Other parents are proud of their progeny's 100% attendance record at school. I'm proud of my children's 100% Poo to Playground Ratio, coming in at an impressive three for three for each of them in Vermont alone. Nothing is more certain to send Maia scuttling inside the monkey bars for some privacy, or Jamie in the Portoloo or forest, than a good playground. Daily ablutions complete, we went back to the car to return to the lakehouse.

But something else was afoot... By the time we got back, my legs were covered in goosebumps despite the heat. My joints were achy, my skin tingly and sensitive, even my scalp hurt. Feeling sorry for myself, I retired to bed with a book after the kids were asleep. I gave Steven instructions to come and fetch me when dinner was ready. None of us knew this would be the last lucid message from me for awhile.

To be continued....


  1. Hahaha I love it! You have first-hand experience of my kids and pooing, alas. They always do it in the most inappropriate places (although Nairn hasn't had a poo accident since we last saw you - he keeps telling me he wants to be a big boy like Jamie).

    I am dreading your next post. I hope you're okay!

  2. Oh no! I'm blaming the anthrax deer...

  3. poo and playgrounds? I knew a burst of kitschycoo madness would cheer me up :-)