Tuesday, 4 August 2009


Some Things Never Change: A short play

Setting: On family holiday in the US. Unbeknownst to me, my old nemesis Thrush also made the transatlantic trip. Cue visit to pharmacy.

Pharmacist: Can I help you?
Me: Do you sell Diflucan over the counter?
Pharmacist (incredulous): What did you say?!?!
Me: Diflucan. Fluconazole. Do you sell it over the counter?
Pharmacist (shaking head at my brazenness): Absolutely not! You need to go to your doctor for that! (mutters to self) Addict. Junkie.
Me: I'm on holiday, I don't have a doctor here.
Pharmacist: Well, might I suggest the 'Feminine Care' section of aisle 14? We have a vast selection of over-priced, ineffectual and disturbingly named products. You can't miss it.
Me: Thanks, you've been very helpful.
Walks over to Aisle 14, following the flashing arrows that alert all other customers to your predicament.
Me (to self): How will I ever be able to choose between Vagisil and Vagistat? Gyne-lotrimin? Or Vagi-guard? Hmmm, this brand 'Faultless' appeals to my sense of injustice that this happens all the time...
Fills arms with embarrassingly named products and goes to counter, drops haul before teenage girl cashier.
Cashier (cheerfully): So how are you tonight?
Me (with sarcasm): Splendid.
Cashier: That'll be a million dollars.
Me: Here you go.
Cashier (perkily): You have a great night!!
Me: I have a feeling it'll be fantastic, thanks.


  1. oh no, that is not fun. i hope that the medicine helps and is worth the million dollars. you can't catch a break these days !


  2. oh dear. I seem to spend most of my time laughing at your predicaments lately (in a nice way!) Your lovely orange bird coat is on the front page of folksy maybe that will cheer you up?? Its in a bird themed featured items selection.

  3. This reminds me of a recent drugstore trip. Whilst on vacation, My lovly grandmum took ill. Just as we are deciding that a trip to the ER is needed, Mother Nature drops off a monthly gift. I had a few supplies on hand, but as I was expecting delivery later I needed more. So picture yourself in the drugstore directly across the street from the hospital at about 1 am buying pads and tampons. The male clerk asks, "How are you this evening?" as he scans your hygiene products. How do you think I am? And then he wishes me a good evening. Yeah, that was a *great* evening.

  4. Oh honey - did you get what you need? I can pick some up and mail it over if it would help?

  5. really I see this as more of a commentary on the U.S health care system and how it is not designed to actually help anyone.
    Best of luck!

  6. oh dear...hope it works quickly and you enjoy the rest of your holiday! i've attempted to get a screen capture of sorts of the folksy front page for you, i can only find a video capture application on my laptop but maybe the little movie of me scrolling up and down over it will be of some use to you if you haven't managed to get it properly yourself! lucy x

  7. I wonder what's causing it.
    Have you ever considered using a Mooncup for your period? Especially if you currently use tampons, you should find it makes a big difference to your general vaginal health (can't believe I actually just said that!). Although they take a little getting used to, everyone I know who's tried them will never go back to their previous sanitary products!

  8. *hides eyes ears and everything ele from embarrassing girly talk* hope it clears up soon. nearly said hope it heals up, but that could go horribly wrong...

  9. Have you tried using barrier methods of contraception - it sounds gross but alot of these so-called feminine issues are actually harboured and spread by the male of the species!!!

  10. oh dear...hope you are better soon... you need to sit in Barnes and Nobles looking at books with an iced latte! and take a picture for me!