I've been having more and more orders for Kindle 4 covers so last night I decided it was high time to fashion myself a Ghetto Kindle 4* out of several layers of heavy card and cellotape. So there I was, minding my own business, cutting card with my craft knife. And then disaster strikes: the knife slips and shears the side of my finger clean off. Just when I was about to make it big as an International Hand Model**. Faced with the dilemma of what to do with the semi-finger on the floor (if we had a composter the decision would be obvious), Steven and I threw it in the bin. Friend Sarah: I'm telling you right now that if you are called to the refuse facility on official police business because someone has found a portion of a finger, don't be alarmed. We hot-footed it up to our local A&E, only to find it was closed because the genteel folk of North Edinburgh don't get up to shenanigans after 9pm. Home again, I roused retired-pharmacist neighbour and made him clean and dress it.
Once the local folk were allowed to injure themselves again (9am this morning), we made it back to A&E for some judgement and chastisement for not trekking it across the city last night to the open hospital, casual prodding of open wounds, and a less-than-lovingly administered tetanus shot***. But the worst thing, they made me get a divorce:
Okay, so technically they made me drag two wedding rings over a swollen mess. But it looks like I've had a divorce. So other than the pain and risk of infection, I now have to contend with people hitting on me all day long****.
To cut a long story short, I'm finding out all the things my left ring finger used to do without protesting. Turns out it's quite a lot, particularly as the ring finger tends to tag along with whatever the other fingers want to do. I am continuing to work, but my pace has slowed a bit due to Minding the Finger. Everyone who ordered before the weekend will be shipped tomorrow morning (they actually turned the light off as I stepped into the post office tonight because my finger took one minute too long packaging things up). Orders that came in over the weekend will be completed and sent within a couple of days.
*Ghetto Kindle: all the dimensions of a real Kindle but none of the content.
** Not technically true although I'm pretty sure scouts have been checking out all the tutes with my hands in them.
*** Big mo-fo bruise already.
****Because in my mind that probably happened a lot when I used to be single.