Dentist: Hello there. How are you today?
Me: Fine, thank you. How are you?
Dentist (harassed face): Meh.
Me: Bad day, was it?
Dentist: You could say that.
Me: (thinks) I hope it wasn't a malpractice suit.
Dentist: So. You're here because you have a cavity.
Me: Yes.
Dentist: And would you like to have pain relief?
Me: (thinks) Is this a trick question?
Dentist: If you don't it will be sore when I drill.
Me: I would like pain relief.
Pictured: Needle to scale.
Dentist: I have given you two injections.
Me: Okay.
Dentist: Just about to drill. It might still be sore, the injections were only small. Let me know if you can't take it.
Me: (thinking) What does this guy have against pain relief?
Dentist: Here we go....
Pictured: My actual response.
Dentist: Would you like another injection?
Me: Yes please.
Dentist: Okay, done. We might as well clean your teeth while we wait for it to kick in.
Pictured: Routine teeth cleaning
Dentist: Nurse, can I have the suction?
Pictured: Dental nurse
Dentist: Is it fully numb now?
Pictured: All of the paralysed nerves and muscles in my face.
Me: Yes.
Dentist: I am going to put this thing in your mouth.
Pictured: approximation of apparatus
Dentist: Let's get drilling.
Pictured: Dentists everywhere.
Dentist: Okay, all done. You should rinse now.
Pictured: Pre-rinsed.
Me: Thank you.
Dentist: You're welcome. See you in six months.
The end.
I feel bad now to admit that I love my dentist.
ReplyDeleteI must add though that when I started seeing my current dentist, it came after a period of about 3 years of not going (didn't have insurance after I married and was in grad school until I got my big girl job). I looked for a dentist with lasers, because I was convinced that my teeth would be riddled with cavities. They weren't. But my dentist offers pillows and blankets, they all wear flavored gloves, and he has a miniature sand blaster to use on spots that are decayed on the surface. He's fantastic!
But I think the commute might be a bit much for you to manage every six months.
LOL! I've now thankfully got a wonderful dentist who is the mother of a good friend of mine - I should have changed to her years ago as it sounds as though my old dentist has moved up to your area!
ReplyDeleteOh dear. I used to see a dentist not too far from you when I lived in da 'burgh and he was EVIL. I wonder if it's the same one.
ReplyDeleteI now see the Hot Spanish Dentist down here in Bristol and he's so pretty that I don't care how much it hurts. They're taking NHS patients, if you can handle the commute.
Sorry, but that's had me laughing (very quietly as I'm in a room with a sleeping child). My old dentist was great. The new one not so much. At the first appointment she stabbed my gum till it bled, then acted thoroughly put out that I wanted to spit out the blood/try to stop it bleeding rather than gag on a mouthful of blood while she finished the examination. I hate to think what she'd be like if I needed a filling!
ReplyDeleteI am sending you waves of sympathy since I would much prefer serial pelvic exams to a single, routine trip to the dentist. Can you find one that specializes in wimps? When I had a root canal the place had a menu of things I could order prior. It included hot tea and - I kid you not - a hug.
ReplyDeleteDentistry can be quite frightening for most people. People are scared about the works of dentist. In fact, they might have had a bad experience with their dentist in the past due to which they avoid dentistry. The people who are scared of dental works always have one question in their mind regarding dentistry. They just want to know the best and easy way of choosing a good dentist. There are few points that you can consider before choosing a dentist. A recommendation from your family member, friend or the existing dentist of family can be quite useful. Most of the times, dentists maintain professional and personal relationships with other dentists all over the country.
ReplyDeleteDentist San Francisco
I really shouldn't have looked at those pictures when I was eating my breakfast :|
ReplyDeleteHahahaha funniest post ever and time to change dentists I think!
ReplyDeleteHave you tried signing up for the NHS dentist in Stockbridge? I found it hilarious that an actual dentist commented on your post.....
ReplyDeleteThe last dentist I had in the UK made a pass at my teeth, and my skin crawled so much I never went back (my current (Irish) dentist is great though).
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to have a good dentist but Indywriter's dentist's flavoured gloves is a bit too weird for me.
I'd laugh out loud, but I'm too busy cringing in sympathy. I hope at least it's fixed the cavity...
ReplyDeleteThe flavored glove thing *is* a bit weird... but it's fairly subtle. Instead of having that latex flavor, you get a hint of mint, grape, or bubblegum.
ReplyDeleteThat was a horrifying post...v glad that I have just been and so have eleven months before my next appointment in which to forget it!
ReplyDelete