Monday, 20 July 2009

13

A plague on our house


Since the summer holidays started it's been illness after illness here. First it was Maia and a middle ear infection, treated with antibiotics. Then one week later, with the mother of all nappy rashes and ulcers in her mouth, we were back at the doctors. I have to admit that I was a little bit shocked when the doctor said it was Hand, Foot and Mouth. Mostly because it seemed to me to be more like Mouth, Bits and Bum, but also because this is how they treat Foot and Mouth in the UK:

Luckily Hand, Foot and Mouth is not related to Foot and Mouth so we didn't need to burn Maia on a pyre. At my insistence, we were also given treatment for Thrush for the Bits and Bum element. Which she responded to, so it appears that my genetic contribution to Maia is not strictly limited to unruly hair and a persecution complex. And the half of her right eye that's blue:


And now the most terrifying affliction of all, which manifested in the boy child last week. I'm not, however, speaking of swine flu but of the less-publicised but more serious affliction: The Whys. Other mums have been talking of the dreaded Whys in hushed tones, eyes lolling in anxiety, "They just won't stop, make them stop, please God, make them stop..." Although I sympathised, I didn't appreciate how maddening The Whys is, until it struck our very own house. Now I don't just have to tell him to do or not to do things, I have to justify it:

Me: Don't use the puppet to fondle yourself.
J: Why?
Me: Because I said so.
J: Why?
Me: I don't like it.
J: Why?
Me: Because it creeps me out.
J: Why?
Me (crying): Just stop! For the love of God, stop!

Research suggests that this condition is terminal (for me at least) but there is palliative care:

13 comments:

  1. Ahahaha! What is it with boys and their penises?!

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  2. ahahahahaha!!!! Lee and I just almost wet ourselves laughing...good to see you've kept your sense of humor through the plagues.

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  3. You have such sense of humour it cracks me up ALL the time!

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  4. That's how I self-medicate too. I get the why's form my daughter but my son also never lets his penis alone. We told him once ( sort-of) jokingly that if he didn't stop it would fall off- didn't even slow him down.

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  5. Oh, and I think "no" soon becomes "whatever"

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  6. My daughter (two older brothers) thought she'd grow one of those little extremities when she went to big school. So very disappointed.

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  7. I'm afrais to say it looks like you may be suffering from Wine Flu.

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  8. Katie wants a willy :|
    In the bath: "I clean my willy"
    At nappy time: "wipe my willy"

    If you tell her she doesn't have a willy she cries "my HAVE got a wiwwy"

    LOL

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  9. The Whys have plagued our house for sometime now, together with the affliction known as "it wasn't me, it was my new (invisible) friend". It appears that they often strike at the same time. I don't like the alcohol cure though - do you think that eating chocolate and banging my head on the wall will have the same affect?!

    Hope Maia gets well soon.

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  10. I love your little bit about " the whys" my son asks me loads of questions one being what are eyeballs made of!?! usually followed by a random why!!

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