Sunday, 5 July 2009


Progeny giveaway

I've hosted a lot of pattern giveaways on my blog (including another two scheduled for this week!), but I haven't yet given away any of my flesh and blood. Now that Jamie is off nursery for seven weeks, and the kids have dedicated their waking hours to fighting for toys, resources and parental affection, to save my sanity I need to give one of them away.

For the sake of transperancy (you need to know what you're letting yourself in for), here is a quick summary of their pros and cons:


  • Sweet natured
  • Very enthusiastic
  • Enjoys hoovering
  • Provides matchmaking / befriending service
  • Good at puzzles
  • Toilet trained
  • Predictable diet of 15 easy to find foods, no cooking required
  • Perfect for those who lack direction / are indecisive because he likes to micro-manage people
  • Nocturnal wanderings (including sneaking into adult beds)
  • Persistent to the point of mania
  • Answers 'Wot you say?' whenever you talk to him
  • Prone to eye infections
  • Asks a million questions a day
  • All that health food is expensive
  • Likes pushing people's buttons / invading personal space

  • Very cute
  • Fun to dress up / do hair etc
  • Precociously verbal
  • Provides mammograms
  • Hilarious
  • Good eater
  • Likes bathing
  • Good sleeper
  • Can colour / play with stickers for hours
  • Bites
  • Believes its her god-given right to drink her body weight in milk every day
  • Drama-queen
  • Won't do anything she doesn't want to do
  • Thinks parental duties extend to scratching her back all day long
  • Prone to ear infections
  • Whines
  • Has freaky toenail
Okay, who's game? To enter the giveaway you'll need to leave a comment with which child you'd like to take off my hands and why you think you deserve one.

Disclaimer: I'll need the child back at the end of the month because the grandparents would be disappointed if we show up one short.


  1. I'd happily exchange you but I'm afraid that I'd have to give you all four of my children as they come as a package. Mine are all good eaters and sleepers but prolific whiners, and as you saw at the Botanics the only one who is toilet trained is Findlay...

  2. Hmmm, I'm not sure a two for four exchange would work in my favour. And we'd need a bigger house. Nice try though!

  3. I would exchange.. but H is like having 4 kids all in one... he is 5 going on 15 or 85 in turns...i'm pretty sure it wouldn't be a fair exchange.

  4. I could do an exchange although I get the feeling that if I gave you Dev and Brodie it would be exactly the same as you having J and M. From the pros and cons lists it would seem that our children are interchangeable.

  5. Oh, Maia please! We need a girl here and she'd fit right in. She and Charlie can compare freaky toenails and be drama queens together! And she'd have lots of space to practice running round in circles - it will keep the pigs amused!

  6. I'm going to watch with interest and see if you find a taker... wonder if they'd also be interested in a demanding but affectionate little girl who will be Miss Piggy when she grows up - in character that is!

  7. Ha Ha! 7 weeks without nursery - nightmare!! I could swop you 10 month old Sam for Maia if you like?? Izzy would love having Maia around but only if she loves Charlie and Lola and will answer to the name Lotta! Sam is very chilled and cheerful but just wants to walk around holding both your hands ALL day so you have to walk at a 90 degree angle and its backbreaking. We'll have him back when hes learned how to walk tho!

  8. I"d trade you one of mine except that the only one that think would go willingly humps the furniture most of the day and is toilet trained in the sense thatt if he gets it near the toilet he calls it a success and demands an M&M. The other one answers 'Why?' to every question asked her.

  9. Ha ha! Seven days into the holidays and I feel better after reading your post and these comments, and realising we're all in the same boat...

  10. ooooh I need a new boy as my own will be leaving for college soon and we need some more testosterone to balance out the house! so, no offense Maia, you are one adorable little sweetie, but Jamie it is!

  11. What a great idea. They're both very cute. I'll borrow one of them for a while, but can't commit to anything long term. I'm thinking there is definitely a market in time share children, they'd get great benefit from having multiple parents too. Haven’t checked with the other half if it’s ok to enter so if i do win one i’ll have to get the Ok from him before collection......or delivery.

  12. Even my cat was able to use the loo successfully, so any child sent here would have to be competent in that area. husband has nasty toenail, so we don't need extras - looks like I need jamie. I await delivery eagerly.