Saturday, 3 October 2009


Piracy at home and abroad

There are a lot of dangerous places in the world. Today I want to talk about 'straits' as they are particular hotspots. Why? Because their unique topography means that goods and people are channeled through a small passage, making them particularly vulnerable to piracy and menacing. But although places like the Malacca Strait get all the publicity and international concern, what about domestic piracy? Why is this menace being ignored? Take for example, the Strait of Kitschy Coo:

This is our living room. As you can see, the positioning of the couches has created a holding pen of sorts, where access to goods (toys) and services (entertainment) requires you to pass through a vulnerable channel. Can't tell from the scale of my diagram how small this strait is? About three foot six:

As you can see from the picture inset, this strait is littered with the corspes of animals. Not because of an act of bestia-cide, but because they chose to kill themselves as this drama is too damn stressful. So what can we do about the menace of domestic piracy? Write to your MP / Senator urging sanctions? Petition the UN for peacekeepers? Answers on a postcard please.


  1. Send them to live with me for a few days. They'll be so terrorised they'll return as little angels :)

  2. Ha Ha. This really made me laugh as looked like a scene from my house today but I had 2 children crying!! My 1 year old just destroys everything my 4year old is playing with (accidentally!). Cue much crying and screaming. Feel like joining in some days!! x

  3. hahaha brilliant. Pesky mini-pirates!

  4. thank goodness there are no meerkats