Thursday 19 August 2010
23
Jamie, when you woke me up yesterday morning with your small hands on my face, shouting, 'Mum, mum! One more sleep til I go to school! Are you excited to see me grow-up?' my heart broke a little bit. I've been thinking about this day in the wrong way.
Here I've been, watching you grow, willing you to grow, counting the sleeps with you towards each milestone, sharing your excitement. I didn't realise what this meant.
While I've been busy looking forward, I didn't appreciate that from now on, I will see you less than I ever have before. Maia and I will miss you.
While I've day-dreamed about the day you no longer want to sleep on my head, I didn't appreciate the closeness you crave with me. Who else will ever love me so much that they need to hold on to my ear even when sleeping?
You, my wee boy, are no longer just part of me.
You are no longer just part of your father.
You are no longer just a devoted brother to your sister.
You are still all these things, you will always be a son and brother: but now you're more. You are part of your school, part of a community, the big wide world.
The world will love you.
I will hold your hand along the way.
Onwards and upwards, pal. But not so fast.
Ode to Boy
Jamie, when you woke me up yesterday morning with your small hands on my face, shouting, 'Mum, mum! One more sleep til I go to school! Are you excited to see me grow-up?' my heart broke a little bit. I've been thinking about this day in the wrong way.
Here I've been, watching you grow, willing you to grow, counting the sleeps with you towards each milestone, sharing your excitement. I didn't realise what this meant.
While I've been busy looking forward, I didn't appreciate that from now on, I will see you less than I ever have before. Maia and I will miss you.
While I've day-dreamed about the day you no longer want to sleep on my head, I didn't appreciate the closeness you crave with me. Who else will ever love me so much that they need to hold on to my ear even when sleeping?
You, my wee boy, are no longer just part of me.
You are no longer just part of your father.
You are no longer just a devoted brother to your sister.
You are still all these things, you will always be a son and brother: but now you're more. You are part of your school, part of a community, the big wide world.
The world will love you.
I will hold your hand along the way.
Onwards and upwards, pal. But not so fast.
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Extreme sentimentality!! You have me in tears now too! I hope J has a great time at school and I hope you and Maia cope without him. xx
ReplyDeleteMan you even brought a tear to my eye. I think you just articulated beautifully how every mother feels on *that* day, it's a little bit heartbreaking and a little bit amazing.
ReplyDeleteLovely post :)
ReplyDeleteAw! x
ReplyDeleteawww you made me cry a little - he looks soooo smart bless him x
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, hope he loves it and you don't miss him too much xx
ReplyDeleteMy little girl Brynn stars school soon. You have me in tears now. I know exactly what you mean. Though for me it's more her discovering the harshness of the playground. How people can be unfair and fickle. She will no doubt discover how people are fat and thin. How some people have money and some don't. How some girls will think she is weird for liking dragons, pirates AND princesses. And that boys won't want to play with her beyond a certain age. I KNOW it has to happen. I just don't want her to discover all those things.
ReplyDeleteOh and PS ... Jamie looks so sweet in his school uniform :)
ReplyDeletemade me teary. so true. hugs. it will be so fun when he comes home and tells you stories about what happened at school everyday. they sure are growing up. the pictures are great.
ReplyDelete-SIL Liz
*Sniff*
ReplyDeleteIt's hard not to anticipate and dread milestones like these.
And who will be handsomer at his school? No one, that's who.
Me too with the damp eyes. How well you articulate these things, lovely, xx
ReplyDeleteYes, teary-eyed here too. Love the photos of you all. I hope that he loves school.
ReplyDeleteaww bless... *sniffle*
ReplyDeleteyou look gorgeous btw!
What a wonderful post. Mini starts in september nad I am in denile!
ReplyDeleteOh my, I'm on the verge of tears now too! My little boy (our youngest) starts in a few weeks, just after his fifth birthday (how...!) and am so torn between his excitement and my sadness at my empty daytime nest!
ReplyDeleteGood luck at school Jamie, you will love it!
x Steph
Awwww - that is just gorgeous. Put a lump in my throat and made me go all teary.
ReplyDeletePerfect. Beautiful. Gorgeous.
ReplyDeleteThat applies to both your words and the pictures - a good looking family!
Oh wow! Having been there last year, I know what you mean. He looks very grown up
ReplyDeleteBeautiful pictures, beautiful words.
ReplyDeleteGood luck Jamie, go get the world, there is so much to do and see and learn!
It's ok Amanda, it gets easier and the hometime hugs in the playground are better than prozac ;)
xxx
very sweet.
ReplyDeleteis he in shorts? seriously? it must be tropical down in the capital!
What a wonderful post..you brought a tear to my eye too! I've been there twice now and hopefully I'll do it on the double (with our twins) in another couple of years...it is such an emotion filled day. Time flys even faster from now on by the way.
ReplyDeleteJamie looks ever so handsome in his uniform...our boys don't officially have shorts as part of their uniform, but my friend and I shortened trousers for our boys in June...much better!
Aw! And I hope the school and the community are good to you both. It's been decent for us so far.
ReplyDeleteSuch a nice post, but that closeness isn't over yet - Lucas the 8-yr-old still asks me to snuggle and has to be up under me at all times. Your ear will still have a friend for a few more years hopefully.
ReplyDelete