Saturday 20 November 2010


Virgin Media has killed me and my children are eating my carcass and my phone is in on it

I've been so busy recently but Virgin Media has decided I can't tell anyone. Our connection is so painfully slow I can't load any sites and I'm thinking I might replicate the entire internet in a notebook for my reference and when I want to blog I will write it all out in shorthand, photocopy it, and mail it to everyone in the world because that would be quicker. I'm trying to run a speed test but the page won't even load and the irony is making me feeling a little bit giddy but mostly just stabby.

And then, in my infinite wisdom, during the week I let the invalid use the computer for CBeebies euphoria-inducing activities so I could do some sewing, and now I can't even get near the computer without them complaining 'it's their shot' and that everything I'm doing 'is taking ages' and they have a point because it is taking ages.

So then I tried to blog using my phone but it won't let me type actual words or even characters into the body of the post but titles of blog posts is apparently a-ok with my phone and then I had an aneurysm and I can't even Google what medical intervention I require and when I die of angry Steven is going to need to bring a corporate manslaughter lawsuit against Virgin but he'll need to go to his parents and use their computer for research.

UPDATE: I kid you not. Within five minutes of posting the above the internet was cured. Now Virgin wants me to look like an a**hole.


  1. I know I should say poor you etc but I am laughing so hard I'm going to wet myself so must run x

  2. B****y computers!!!! Or is that internet providers? Talk about a Love,hate,hate,hate relationship! They keep'updating' everything and promising the moon and all they do is make things worse. SHHHH! better not say that too loud as we are with Virgin too and the gremlins might hear my complaints! Good Luck, Jenny

  3. oh no:( Glad it seems to have sorted itself out, hope it stays sorted.

  4. We're with Virgin too and it is a bag of wa*k. M keeps threatening to change to someone else but the thought of no internet again brings me out in a cold sweat so I won't allow it ;)