Tuesday, 16 November 2010


Return of the Nocturnal Crafter

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Those of you who have been archiving and analysing my Twitter feed would have noticed that a couple of weeks ago I crossed over into certified hysteria over the fact that an additional child was finding her way into the marital bed during the night. I'd reach a semi-acceptance of having three in bed (if by acceptance you mean writing epic doggerel bewailing the situation), as you would expect from having the same thing happen seven hundred and fifty three days in a row. But when another child demanded access to me, my bed, my blankets, my pillow, and my ears - and that child vociferously fought with the other child over said access and kept everyone from actually sleeping, I lost my sh*t. At first, internally, as I gnashed my teeth and wailed about how my life was over. But then one night at 4AM when I hadn't been to sleep yet and Maia was screaming about not having enough blankets, and Jamie was complaining that she scratched him, and Steven was sleeping on the floor in Jamie's room, and they commenced an actual brawl on top of my supine body, I lost it with them. I shouted, 'NO. MORE. CHILDREN. IN. MY. BED.' and dragged them back to their respective beds in their respective rooms, and returned them again and again for the rest of night.

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The next day, the three of us sat down for a proper chat between zombies. Although our attempt at making them share a room had been the impetus for Jamie's sleep problems to begin with (he was a Model Sleeper beforehand), there was nothing to lose by moving them in together again, especially as they were both complaining that they were scared during the night. So that's what we did. The three of us tidied up Jamie's room, we moved some furniture around, and they became roomies.

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I've been keeping a secret from you: I have not had a child* in my bed since. They are taking the responsibility for keeping each other company during the night seriously. Yes, they are sleeping less than they did before as they talk instead of going to sleep, and both wake up at stupid o'clock, but there are no children in my bed. And so things changed for me. Without the need to get myself absolutely bone tired so I could sleep through ear tuggings and kidney punches, I could work during the day like a normal person. I've gotten used to getting a reasonable amount of sleep again; I've taken a book to bed to read. If my crafty output has been a little less prodigious, and my blog posts more sporadic and less sleep-deprived bizarre, that's why.

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And now the dreaded pox. One definite week without child-free daylight hours to work and another one expected once Maia catches it. And so I return, the Nocturnal Crafter.

*Steven is technically an adult.


  1. That jacket is insufferably cute. I do sympathize with the impossibility of accomplishing anything during daylight hours when one has a sick child and I am impressed that you can function nocturnally and produce such a fine jacket. My attempts at sewing after dark usually end up with me cursing and a big, fat wadder to show for all my hard work.

  2. Sounds like fun in household!!
    And love the jacket super cute. Kx

  3. Hoo-frickin-ray for a child-free bed! And pox is just a short-term setback. You will soon be pox and toxic snot free, fully rested and full of energy :)

  4. Impressed that it worked at all to be honest - we still get company (usually accompanied by both icy feet and a million stuffed toys) at some point during the night, despite my many, many outbursts on the theme of Go Back To Your Bed! Plus if I could sew like that sleep deprived I'd start making sure I only get a few hours sleep.

  5. Where to start?

    1. The coat, especially the woodland creature fabric, is so cute it makes me wet my pants just a little. Or maybe that's because I'm old. Or maybe both.

    2. HURRAH for a child free bed! This is huge and I am SO happy for you. Although she doesn't sleep in our bed, Rylee has only slept through the night 6 times in two months so I know how big a good night's sleep can be.

    3. The chicken pox is a minor setback. You'll get back to sleeping, really truly. And I'm sorry it's crappy while it lasts.

    4. And the coat made me wet my pants again.

  6. What good news. I have sleep issues but they are all of my own making so I can only imagine how tiring that must have been. Good for you for putting your foot down.

    That jacket, OMG I want to be five so I can wear it. Actually, can we have an adult sized pattern?

  7. I can sympathize, although, I *always* have kids in my bed because we co-sleep. I can only sew after 9pm, and for about 3 hours. I love that jacket. You have great taste in fabric combinations. Am I blind, or is this pattern in your Etsy shop? I want one. :-)