Thursday 30 April 2009


Go Girl Power! (Maybe)

Today I thought I would give you a well-earned respite from my applique endevours and talk a bit about my little girl. Maia is under-utilised blog fodder. She doesn't have the food, sleep or authority problems that Jamie has (at least not yet), and only pops up here when she undergoes catastrophes or is an adorable model for my wares. But I could blog about her all day, every day, because she's hilarious.

I don't know about the rest of you mums with girls, but I want to teach Maia that she can do anything. I want her to grow up happy and fulfilled, and to do stuff that she loves doing. I study her and note the things that she likes to do and wonder, 'Hmmm, what will you be?'.... And then I crap myself. Because based on her current interests, she's likely to be one of these:

  • A hellion: Numerous people have noted that Maia is going to be hard work when she is a teenager. She is very strong willed, she does what she wants to do and doesn't do what she doesn't want to do. End of. Given a pen and a minute without eagle-eye supervision, she attacks any available surface (read: graffiti artist). She covers her skin with elaborate ink drawings (read: tattoos). She covers her face in stickers (read: facial piercings). At this point, I would like to preempt a comment from my parents: I also was hard work as a teenager, I got a tattoo in my teens and at one point I had 11 piercings.
  • A member of GLOW: For the uninitiated, this acronym stands for Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling. She loves a tussle, and is rougher and stronger than her big brother. She already has a costume (and doesn't she look formidable?): I think her name will be Maia 'The Trebuchet' Jones because she already has a signature move. She lies on her back, lifts her legs towards her face and then suddenly drives them back towards the floor with alarming pace and strength. I've been a recipient of one of these hammer blows and it's no laughing matter.

  • A mammographer: Despite the fact that I stopped breast feeding her a year ago, the girl is obsessed with my breasts. Anytime we are within close proximity, she has at least one hand down my top, usually with the other hand holding my shirt out of the way so she can admire her handiwork. She is nothing if not thorough.

  • Pole dancer: She likes being naked, she likes to dance. In fact, I doubt there is anyone in the world who likes being naked as much as she does. All day long she implores 'Nek, nek' in the hope that I will strip her off and let her run amok. When she was about 5 months old and first pulling herself to stand, her chosen apparatus was the metal pole support of her swing. Being unsteady, she would wobble and gyrate around said pole. I said to Steven, 'Look at her, it looks like she's pole-dancing!' For the record, it is inadvisable to say this to a Dad. If you were worrying that I might produce a naked dancing picture or *gasp* photoshop Maia's face onto a poledancer's, have no fear! Because I found this one instead:


  1. LOL I hear you, my girl is 4 going on 14 and I tear my hair out :D My older son was never this much trouble!

  2. oh my goodness. Just you wait till teenhood ;-) When my daughter (now 22) was 3, her answer to "What do you want to be when you grow up" was always "a cow"

    but she isn't.

  3. My 4 year old is also promising to be hard work as a teen. She has just about stopped drawing on herself, but she still doesn't do pretty much what she doesn't want to. And at the moment she either wants to be an astronaut or a ballerina.

  4. Amanda I am not sure how good an idea it is that our girls ever meet. It sounds like Maia and Erica are very very similar girlies.

    P.S. I want to know where the piercings were located. I am also one of the pierced & tattooed ;)

  5. Are you secretly writing about my daughter????
    Everything you have written could describe Katie perfectly well.

    Stubborn, strong willed - check

    Rough and tough, wrestles with her older brothers - check

    Draws all over herself - check
    "What you doing Katie?"
    "Just drawing mine arms" !!!!!

    Is naked constantly - check..... she tries to wrestle herself out of clothes at playgroup

    Loves dancing - check. Current faves are Ruby, Sex on Fire and Honey, Honey from Mamma Mia(she doesn't like the Abba version!!)
    Quite diverse tastes I'm sure you'll agree LOL

    No pole dancing yet though.

    Is it just 2 year old girls?? How old is your daughter Vonnie? Is it like an unwritten code that mothers of daughters never tell - just wait for others to find out for themselves. You know - like the pooping during childbirth thing - no one ever tells until it's too late!!! LOL

    Whens Maia's birthday? Katie was 2 at the start of March - they are a very similar age I think?

  6. Hmmm, I thought Maia was really eccentric but maybe she's normal after all!

    @Vonnie: Five left ear, three right ear, nose, belly button, tongue. Largely self-administered.

    @Rachel: Maia and Vonnie's Erica will both be two in a couple of weeks. And I'm still laughing about your childbirth comment (although of course I'm the exception to the rule)!

  7. Well I thought I was too with my first :)... until my husband informed me otherwise months later!! LOL

  8. @Rach: Probably better to adopt a 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy :)