Wednesday 17 March 2010

8

We need to move house


I've mentioned before that 72.7% of our building is populated by geriatrics. This can be a good thing, say if you need a stand-in for professional photographer to take your picture in the back garden. Or you're suffering from a deficiency of small talk. But it can be bad, because they are around a lot and are likely to witness all sorts of things perpetrated by your children. Remember when Jamie pressed his wee man against the window at our nemesis neighbour? Well, he later died. Probably unrelated, but it can't be underestimated how dangerous children can be.

Scene: Our front car park. A convergence of generations.
Elderly neighbour: Why, hello there!
Me: Hello.
Maia: Hello, man.
Me: This is John. He lives upstairs from us.
Elderly neighbour: My goodness, what a big girl you are now! You're not a baby anymore!
Maia: When I was a baby, I drank milk out of mummy's boobies.
Elderly neighbour: --
Me: Well. Okay. We best be going.

See? Dangerous.

8 comments:

  1. oh my god - i actually laughed out loud and snorted and got tears.
    so i can actually type this LOL *cringe* but not quite PMSL :o)

    oh and stop showing me up in front of Martin Lewis.

    or i'll tell on you.

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  2. Oh my, I love her. What a fantastic thing to say

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  3. *snicker*

    out of the mouths of babes eh?

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  4. This is great! Thank you for the laugh this morning! At least I know my kids aren't the only ones who say things like this!

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  5. Brilliant - the child has a bright future ahead of her!!

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  6. Exact testament to why I am childless - my cat doesn't ever embarrass me like that!

    Teehee - bless her - Houdini x

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  7. Exact testament to why I am childless - my cat doesn't ever embarrass me like that!

    Teehee - bless her - Houdini x

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  8. he he he, now you just need to start planning her embarisment for when she in her teens - oh, you've already done it here on this blog which all her friends will be able to see! this statement may have made you blush but it'll make her blush more when shes older. x

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