Friday, 4 September 2009

27

Accidents do happen, to the best of us


If you're a mum, you've probably heard those immortal words 'It was an accident!' more times than you've had hot dinners (or at least hot dinners not cooked by yourself). Toys mysteriously in the toilet? It was an accident! A saliva ring on the back of a sibling's shirt that looks uncannily like an attempted bite mark? It was an accident! A massive seed from the garden shoved so far up your nose that it was undetectable for days? An accident! But sometimes, my friends, it really is 'an accident'.

Take yesterday for example. My sewing machine and my overlocker have been fecked (this is the technical term) for such a long time. Obviously they've still been usuable, but they're clunky and irksome. I've been giving my machines The Finger, lots. But every time I tell myself, 'GET THEM SERVICED!', something comes up. However, as you might have noticed, all my shops remain closed. And so they shall remain, until I can get lovely, well-functioning and pleasant machines.

When I phoned up today and asked how long it would take, I was told three weeks was standard. After dying, being given CPR by Jamie, and recovering, I explained to the owner that I was special and couldn't be expected to cope without my therapy machines for that length of time. Because losing my machines would feel a bit like this:


'I see...', he said, after I faxed him the diagram of me missing an arm, 'Well in that case, we'll have them back for you next Tuesday or Wednesday.' That's still a long time, but I have patterns and website work to do. 'Okay, then, I'll bring them up,' I said.

The minute poor Steven came in from work, I informed him he'd have to drive through the depths of Hell Edinburgh at rush hour. To punish us for rejecting the congestion charge, the government has dug a massive trench in the middle of every single road, put a fence and elaborate one-way system around it, added some temporary traffic lights for good measure and then moved on. We packed The Most Irritable Children in the World *TM into their carseats and up we went. Driving by the shop, Steven slowed enough for me to jump out and ninja roll out of the path of an errant bus (whilst holding machines of course). 'Go find some parking, I'll just be a minute,' I shouted. I could still hear Jamie screaming 'I come with you!!' halfway down the road.

'Hello, I spoke to you on the phone. Here's my machines.' said I. 'Great, thank you. You can put them over there,' said he. Struggling to carrying the lumbering machines to add to the heap of more than seventy machines waiting to be serviced, that's when it happened... I accidentally stumbled and *cough* bought two new machines *cough*. Okay, maybe I didn't stumble. But I did accidentally buy a new sewing machine and a new overlocker. Oops-a-daisy. While Steven sat in the car with The Most Irritable Children in the World *TM for a very long time. Whoops. It was an accident.

27 comments:

  1. Was this that sewing machine fixers over in the West End? I once had a three-days-before-Christmas kilt-making fucked-machine crisis, and they saved my life. They deserve your custom.

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  2. ha ha - that was funny - i bet your husband was over joyed when you came back out of the shop!

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  3. Absolutely BRILLIANT post! This really brought a smile to my face this morning! It may have been an accident but I am sure it was a very 'happy' accident LOL!!

    Enjoy your *cough* new machines!

    x

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  5. Accidents are terrible things.

    I am on the verge of accidentally book shopping.

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  6. LOL, this is so funny!! Loving your very accurate description of Edinburgh too!!

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  7. @rebelraising: Yep, that's the one! They saved my bacon last year by lending me their shop machine while mine were being serviced! They're awesome there.

    @vV: He thought they were loans! Considered not setting him straight :)

    Vicky: Thanks, I even read the instruction booklets last night! Which definitely means I'm keen.

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  8. Ahahahahahaha I am very jealous, good on you!

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  9. Rolf !!! that def sounds like a big accident to me. ....they just followed me home ... bet hubby was cursing lol x thanks this post made me smile x

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  10. Enjoy your new machines:) Sounds like the kind of accident I have on amazon...

    Do we get to see these new cough machines?

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  11. seriously you brought new machines? lol thats so funny!!!
    dying to see autumn wintewr creations for my little monkey then, no excuses now, get sewing to keep your leagues of fans satsified!

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  12. Hmm, why don't I have those kind of accidents happen to me? We just get the ending-up-in-A&E-with-broken-limbs kind of ones around here! Yours are much more pleasant! for futeure refernce, just in case I ever have that kind of accident myself - just HOW did you explain that one to your husband......?!

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  13. @Flame: Accidental book shopping is great, one of my favourites.

    @Ali: I know! What must the tourists think of us this Festival?! It's shameful.

    @Vonbon: Well, I'm sending jealousy right back at ya for having a cleaner in :)

    @Emma: Husband was confused, thought they were loans. But my sheepish look gave it away...

    @Louiz: That's them in the first pic! Two more Janomes. The sewing machine is a lower model than I had but the serger is an upgrade.

    @vickim: You're right, I don't have any excuses anymore :) Well, other than all the DVD box sets we brought back and the four books the kids got me for my birthday... I promise I'll be sewing like a fiend soon!

    @kleinzonnetje: Okay, here's the secret: call what you do The Business. Then any purchase you feel compelled to make, you can say 'It's for The Business'. This works for almost anything... machines, fabric, day trips. All for The Business. Steven wants to buy a Wii, but he can't, because he doesn't have a Business. See?

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  14. you crack me up. i do accidental fabric and yarn shopping frequently. unfortunately, my husband has learned and does accidental Wii games shopping now.

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  15. HAHA. Ace!! I'd have told my dh that they were my old machines and sighed that it was so stupid as to not realise ;)

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  16. i have that janome overlocker - it is fab and really easy to thread compared to most! Mine was a total impulse purchase at a sewing show when I'd struggled for years with a cranky elna one.

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  17. pmsl love it! You will have to practice the innocent look though

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  18. Fantastic. Brilliant post that made me smile. Can feel some accidental shopping of my own coming on!

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  19. ooooh im sooo envious! I have been doing A LOT of overlocker research this week as i have been promised one for my birthday. That one is the one that ticked all the boxes and i really wanted it....but it was just our of the price range i thought i could get away with! so have gone for a Singer that was on offer instead! Am thinking now i should have said the Janome, and promised a bit more knookie next week in exchange....at least then i could bug you every time i messed up....which as ive never used one before is MORE THAN likely!!!
    x K

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  20. Now that is my kind of accident! lol

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  21. Hahahhaaaaaa!
    Excellent work :) Enjoy your new machines xx

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  22. i brought a brother 1034d overlocker as simple and easy to use and i only sew for perosnal use, it came woith free gathering foot and 2 others as well.
    i told dh about this and he said not to get any ideas!

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  23. very impressed with kym who can promise extra knookie in recompense for accidental purchases. I have to make cakes.

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  24. That's because sewing people are not responsible for their actions when stepping over the threshold of a sewing-machine/fabric shop.
    This also applies to shops that sell shoes. And bags. And clothese. And pretty things. And sparkly things....

    I have a sewing machine being serviced from about 18 months ago because I bought a new machine ....

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  25. Now go to your room, accidents only happen when people aren't being very careful young lady!

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  26. Great post! I love the idea that your hubby thought they were on loan - sort of courtesy machines!

    Sharon x

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