Friday, 25 September 2009


There's lots of disappointed people

If, like me, you have the procrastination gene and believe that there is no such thing as 'too much information', I suggest you get Google Analytics. It'll tell you everything you want to know about your site traffic (who came, from where, why, and how often), and some things you don't want to know (what do you mean they only spent 2 seconds here?!?). But it's also a great source of WTF humour, courtesy of the page that tells you what people used as a search term before landing on your site. Thank you, Pickled Weasel, for sharing yours first.

So I give you the ten Most Disappointed People in the World, who landed on my blog using the following search terms:

10. Life in the eyes of a Viking
9. How to join a cult polygamy
8. What do you do when you hit a deer in Luxembourg?
7. Buy Vagi-guard in Canada
6. What do you think is interesting about a bank manager?
5. Maybe I'm just too short
4. Japan father-in-law porn
3. How to get people to stop staring at you on an airplane
2. Exhibitionist grandpa

and, *drumroll*, the most Disappointed Person in the World is....

1. I want to be a winner, tell me the way


  1. Love it! Completely dread to think what I will find on mine ...but of course heading straight off to look! Thanks

  2. LOL!! Japan Father-In-Law porn?!?! What!? Yours are waaay funnier than mine!

  3. I've had Google Analytics for months and months and months and I check it frequently in the hope of getting good "hits" to use in a blogpost. But all I ever get is "how to make a hairband" and other boring ones.
    Sorry to foist another American ladies' blog on you, but check out Beki's blog hits - hers are sooo funny :

  4. Ooh that's interesting! I've got a statcounter but I've never explored further than how many visits. I can see the evening being whiled away on this.

  5. Who would write No. 4 in a search engine, thats such a niche market! There are some seriously weird people living amongst us!

  6. I love Google analytics. I don't want to look tonight because I haven't been blogging this week so I will be suicidal because my hits will be down but for you, I will go and peek ;)
    And that Japan father-in-law porn, is your fabric porn!! I told you to write pron instead ;P

  7. Hahaha, yours are just as weird as mine. Japan father-in-law porn is nicer than Rossendale Slut though. Actually, let me just give you a hand to increase your hits:
    Japan father-in-law porn Japan father-in-law porn Japan father-in-law porn Japan father-in-law porn Japan father-in-law porn :)

  8. OMG That's so funny!!! Japan father in law porn!!! What???

    I've got analytics but haven't found that bit - will have to go have a look.

    How the flip do most of them relate to you???? I don't get it!! LOL

  9. I can't stop laughing. I recently got google analytics and I find it so confusing. What is really sad is I think I visit my site more than anyone else. But how else can I keep up with everyone else without using my own site. LOL. Love it. Perhaps we need better tags.

  10. oooh - hadn't considered the Viking market - where's my wool? not going to bother with the Japanese father in laws though, you've clearly got that market buttoned up.