Astronomy and toilet training

Welcome to Week One Million of toilet training Maia. And by Week One Million, I mean Week Four. It just feels like Week One Million, because of the amount of laundry we're doing. Or the number of plastic bags we're accruing filled with soiled clothes either destined for the laundry, or in some cases, the bin. We're trying everything: gentle encouragement, praise, not so gentle encouragement, rewards, pleading, voodoo. But the girl will just not poop where she's meant to to. I'm at the end of my tether, I'm willing to try anything. And by anything I mean astronomy.


Sheesh, astonomy is complicated. Every single day, all these planets are moving, into different alignments, different convergences, into houses, out of houses... What does it all mean? And what does it all mean about pooping? I've been charting everything. Charting all these variables and how they interact with each other. And I came up with this:


If you're not an astronomer like me, you might need a bit of guidance to read this chart. Every coloured line represents a scenario and where they intersect, an outcome. So 'Fully clothed' and 'In public' results in pooping at the soft play centre. If only I'd consulted my charts before that happened. This week we've at least moved into the 'Sheer Bloody Coincidence' meridian, and she's had three on the toilet. Whether or not we're temporarily or permanently in the House of Toilet-Trained is not clear though.

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