Toast: A short play

Setting: Day 456 of Jamie having toast with peanut butter and jelly for his dinner. Mom exits kitchen with toast in hand, encounters Jamie in the hallway.

Jamie (executing quick about-face, runs frantically into the living room and throws himself onto the floor): No toast, no toast, no toast, no toast!

Mom (casually overstepping the prostrate Jamie, attempts reverse psychology): Daddy, here's your toast with peanut butter and jelly for your dinner.

Jamie (slithering around floor): No toast, no toast, no toast, no toast!

Dad (awakening from obligitory post-work slumber on couch, joins reverse psychology effort): Jamie, that's not your toast, it's Daddy's.

Jamie (purple with rage): No toast, no toat, no toast, no toast!

Mom (continuing the facade): Jamie, stop it. It's not your toast, it's Daddy's.

Jamie (foaming at mouth): No toast, no toast, no toast, no toast!

Dad (feigning casual nonchalance): Hey, Mom, what's Jamie having for his dinner?

Mom (feeling exasperated and multilingual): Nada.

Jamie (short pause of consideration): No nada, no nada, no nada, no nada!

Mom and Dad share a smirk of smug superiority.

Mom (winking at Dad): Hey, Dad? Would you like some Nada?

Dad (gleefully): Yes please!

Jamie (covering his ears): No nada, no nada, no nada, no nada!

Mom (with sheer abandon): Hey, Maia, would you like some Nada?

Maia (enthusiastically): Yeah, yeah!

Jamie (curled up in ball): No nada, no nada, no nada, no nada!

Mom (jubuilantly): Looks like everyone's having some Nada!

Jamie (short pause and with perfect calm): I would like toast.

The End.

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This week's lesson

When we have kids, we spend so much time teaching them how to behave... how to be gentle, how to ask nicely, how to share, how to take turns. And it seems we've had a breakthrough this weekend-- we've successfully learned to share and take turns. Was it at the park, taking turns to go down the slide? Or taking turns with a much disputed toy at home? Nope, nothing as heart-warming as that. In fact, they took turns to vomit on their mom. Yes, we've been stricken with the dreaded norovirus (that's the vomiting bug to you and me). First, it was Jamie's turn through the night on Friday. There's not enough sheets and PJs in the world to accommodate the nocturnal destruction perpetrated on his bedroom. And then, after sharing his germs (see? I'm getting somewhere!), it was Maia's turn on Sunday night. And then, worst of all, it got me yesterday.

If you're British, you might have caught the amazing series 'Amazon' on the BBC. Hosted by the diminutive but alluring Bruce Perry, the host visited indigenous tribes along the length of the Amazon River to highlight the effects of deforestation. We loved this show (and his series 'Tribe' beforehand) and have a real laugh as Bruce, without fail, gets off his face on whatever hallucinogenic tribal drugs are going. He's 'immersing himself in tribal life' you see. You might be wondering where I'm going on this tangent. In 'Amazon', there was an episode where he participated in a projectile vomiting ceremony with the Achuar tribe of Wijint. Based on recent events, I am now their de facto chief.

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All hail the winner!

Congratulations to Rach, the seventh commentor in the giveaway. Once I get your address a shiny new tute will go in the post!

I loved reading all your comments and your ideas for more patterns.

Sarah said: As far as patterns I'd like, a boys reversible coat - that would be great.

The reversible boys coat pattern should be ready in a couple of weeks. I still have to test two more before it's ready, one with a (non-pointy!) hood and one with a traditional collar. I have the fabric ready for the traditional collar one, but am waiting for super extra special fabric to arrive for the hooded one.

Jennyflower said: I'd like to see a pattern for idiots- no really a set of patterns to give me confidence to sew like No 1- sew a pillowcase......pattern 107-make a full size zip-up elephant with french seams and button on ears. Please. x

Wow, great minds think alike! Here's one I made earlier. The blue thing on the back is clearly a zipper, you'll have to trust me on the french seams (as they're inside the elephant). Oh, and now that I re-read your post, you said 'button on ears' whereas I made mine with 'buttons on ears'. Oops.

Courtney said: I've been commissioned to make a Fedora hat and I CANNOT find a pattern. I know it's not what you normally sew, but if you hear of one..will you point me towards it?

Wow, I wouldn't even know where to start for a fedora! I did find these tutes though:

http://www.ehow.com/how_2104099_make-fedora.html This is how to make the whole hat with felt.

http://adventure-realm.com/raidersbash.html This is how to change a normal open crown / bowler hat into a fedora.

Good luck!

Koolkatskate said: ' There is one dress that really had potential but the neck just wasn't right. It is a summer one with a scoop neck and the front had an apron thing - like a giant pocket attached at the middle, yoke and sides '

I had a look at the dress and I think it's really cute! Love those colours together. I didn't think there was a major problem with the neckline?! I know what it's like to have an idea in your head and have it turn out differently in practice though!

Rach said: I would love to see a pattern for a red riding hood style hooded cloak with a button or toggle fastening on the front. Almost like a poncho but open at the front and hooded.

I know of a pattern for this! In the winter Ottobre 08 issue there's one just like you're describing. A bunch of people on Craftster have made it and it looks so nice... and they say it's a quick one to do as well!

Caroline-Jasons_ mom said: I saw a top that you did that I really would love to make! Its the sleeveless top with the two large buttons at the top.

Thanks! I have ordered the tutorial for this swing top from the printing company this morning, it'll hit my etsy shop by the end of the week!

Nic said: What pattern would I like? Ooh at the mo, a gilet pattern

Noted, Nic. Again, I think there are definitely a gilet pattern in one of the recent Ottobre issues, but for boys. Not sure I've seen one for the girls!

Covetables said: As for other patterns my only suggestion is larger sizes. I seem to find loads of great stuff for toddlers but they all seem to stop just before my daughter's size 5.

I will be making this coat for 5T / 6T as soon as I can find some testers, hint hint. Let me know if you're interested!

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My 'marching band coat' from start to finish

I finally finished my first boy's coat today! This is the one that's been occupying my thoughts for the last couple of weeks. I knew exactly what I wanted it to look like but had big issues about how to actually construct it. For inspiration, I did countless hours trawling Google images and it's a bit of an amalgam of these:

Yep, that's right... I wanted it to look like a cross between a pirate, a marching band, a mariner, a rap star, a rock star, a Lego man and Freddy Mercury. Specifically, I wanted black and red, with pointy plackets across the chest, naval buttons and cording. And here's the result:

It is a black twill shell with red goretex / microfleece lining. It's technically reversible but I didn't bother doing buttons or anything to the fleece side as it'd be pretty strange to wear twill on the inside and fleece to the outside! Plus, I wanted the red edging on the hood to 'pop' so I lined the hood in the black twill. So if it was worn on the reverse it'd be a red coat with black hood... not a good look methinks.

The hood is a bit too pointy for my liking... I like the pointy / pixie look on the girls coat but I wanted a more classic curve for the boys. Bad pattern making on my part, but I can change it easy enough for the next one!

The hood has red cording sandwiched in between the layers, the sleeve and body edges look like they have cording but it's actually just the lining that I pulled through so it 'peeks' out.

The biggest quandary when I was planning the coat was how to close it... Should it be properly double breasted, mock double breasted, concealed zipper, toggles, velcro, chewing gum, staples?! It took me days to decide, but in the end I made it single breasted but with the look of double breasted.

There is a single button at the neck of the coat under the red placket. The red plackets are functional (i.e. they have actual buttonholes as opposed to buttons being sewn on) but they are completely detachable. I did it this way because a) my sewing machine would have completely died if I tried to buttonhole through four layers b) I can try out different styles, colours and sizes without ruining the coat. I'll probably make some plain black ones (and maybe royal blue as well) to see how they would look.

So... honest opinions. I've been thinking about it and making it for awhile, and I'm just too close to it to have perspective! It is what I was picturing for the most part, so shouldn't I love it more?! My gut feeling is those plackets are just too chunky.

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Folksy finds upcycled

I'm a big fan of using recycled material for new creations, so here's a selection of innovative Folksy creators!

Mmmm, notebooks.... This weather notebook by Rhubarb Crumble has a beautiful cover and spotty ribbon binding.

I can't get enough of unusual clocks and this upcycled His Master's voice clock by Fizzy Pop uses a vintage record as the backdrop, both funky and functional!

Who from my generation could doubt the significance of Scooby Doo?! It was a total institution and these innovative Scooby Doo circles by Sisily Love use retro materials for a practical design. Love them!

This Jane of the jungle pendant by charming and pretty uses a vintage comic strip encapsulated in resin to make a funky pendant for the feminists amongst us! (Maybe. She is wearing a bikini).

A classic fairy tale get recon'ed in this lovely Snow White and Rose Red journal by Swirlyarts.

Who knew that envelopes were hiding such beauty?! These Recycled envelope badges by Milomade- too good to waste! are both ethical and understated, but also very pretty!

There's a beautiful array of colours in this Autumn wreath of recycled felted wool by PapilioHandmade. She uses 100% wool and cashmere blankets and jumpers for this stunning creation.

I was compelled to include this recon as we have the exact same music box in our house, a hand-me-down from when Steven was young. Fflwcs&williams has used this original 1979 toy, added a second music box and has embellished it to create an original and innovative SHE machine.

This simple but stunning Paper decoration by Sallyent used recycled paper material and ribbon to a beautiful effect.

Maybe not a high scorer, but this Wooden broach - tea by Maisie and Munch using Scrabble tiles is just the right side of nostalgic.

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Free giveaway of my double breasted coat pattern

My shipment from the print company arrived yesterday and the tute looks great! So, without further ado, you can buy it here. If you're in the UK and would prefer to get it in pounds, let me know and I will list it on Folksy.



The full package (I ended up going all paper rather than an e-pattern) is for the tutorial and pattern to make a reversible double breasted coat of your own! The coat has an a-line shape, peter pan collar or pixie hood, and can be folded up at the sleeve edges to get maximum length of wear. The coat is also fully reversible so you get two coats in one!


The full-colour 12 page tutorial explains the process step by step with easy to follow instructions. There are construction tips and hints as you go along. The tutorial includes the option for a peter pan collar or a pixie hood. The pattern includes pieces for 18m/ 2T and 3T/ 4T. I would rate the difficulty as advanced beginner or intermediate.


To celebrate the launch of my first pattern for sale, I would like to have a free giveaway competition here on my blog! It'll open today and I will randomly select a winner on Sunday night. All you have to do is leave a comment on this post (if you're posting as Anonymous make sure you leave some way to contact you!). If you want to be super-helpful, I'd love to know if there is something you'd like to make but can't find a pattern for. Give me some inspiration for other patterns to draft!

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The coat that doesn't want to be made and other irritations

After weeks of agonising and procrastinating, I finally started my boys jacket today. I have a very specific idea of what I want it to look like but I just can't figure out how it would work practically. Rather than let another couple of weeks pass with nothing to show for it, I decided to just go for it. It's not going to be reversible or 100% what I pictured, but at least when it's done I'll know if the pattern is a good fit or if I need to tweak it.

When Maia went down for her nap I got down to task one: cutting. Why do fabric stores fold fabric the wrong way? I want it folded selvage to selvage. They fold it cut end to cut end. Not a huge deal when you buy small quantities, but massive pain in the bum when I've bought a lot and need to drag it up and down the hallway to re-fold it.

Task two: Re-thread serger. This is one of my least favourite sewing activities, just behind stabbing my finger with a needle, buttonholing coats and stitch-ripping serger seams. In fact, I contrive reasons only to sew with the same serger thread all the time, even avoiding using new fabrics that I love, just because I don't want to rethread the machine. Ever wonder why most things I make are reversible? So I can hide mismatched serger thread inside. I'm kidding (mostly). Pathetic.

But wait, where is the third black thread cone? I'm sure I've seen it recently... when Jamie was using it as a pirate spyglass... which room was that in? House turned upside down, drat. Now I'll have to go to the fabric shop. With the two of them. Double drat.

It's a two mile walk each way, pushing the double buggy with a combined weight of approx 45kilos / 7 stone/ 100 lbs. When we arrive at the fabric shop, they both want out of the buggy. Mayhem ensues. Jamie grabs a basket and starts acting like a looter. 'You like this one? You like this one?' as a random assortment of haberdashery is thrown in. Maia's off on the other side of the store, hiding under a (staffed) cutting table. Stop, Jamie needs a wee. I try to put everything back in it's rightful place while the Jamie asks people 'What you doing?' and Maia rides a roll of fabric on the floor. Stop, Jamie needs a poo. As I'm getting some fabric cut, they play an elaborate game of Bite / Chase. This is a Jones family original, where Maia chases him around pretending to bite him. They think it's hilarious, strangers do not. Time for the walk home...

Ahh, lovely Edinburgh... Where the streets are paved with dog crap and broken glass. Puncture a tire. Again. I have to simultaneuosly pull with my left hand and push with my right (whilst propelling us forward) to stop the buggy veering into the road. Nevermind, I'm home now, with my thread, biding my time until they're asleep so I can get started.

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