Advice from a supermodel

I've watched a lot of America's Next Top Model in my time. I used to think that it was just frippery, but since I've become the supermodel of my own blog I've realised it's actually heaps educational. Many a Not a day goes by without someone emailing me to ask how I've become such a successful supermodel of my own blog. Well, now I'll tell you as I walk you through two of my new tunics.

• Choose your photographer carefully. I've tested a geriatric neighbour and my childminder with good results: But my go-to photographer is always my husband. I make him take so many shots that when the brief is 'smile benignly', I nail it. And, the massive height difference between us means that he's always looking down on me and this really helps me look like I've got feet that are so small I shouldn't be able to stand upright. Again, editorial. That's some pretty edgy stuff to have non-functional feet.
• Staging photos. It always helps to have a good backdrop for modelling. Unfortunately it rains all the freaking time here in Scotland so you can't always take your pictures outside without getting pneumonia and dying. Inside shots are trickier, but not insurmountable. My friend Nic recommends standing on a table if there's clutter and debris, but if you're really good at Photoshop like me you can just crop everything out of your photo. Like the fridge. But don't go too over-zealous, because sometimes a prop like a light switch makes it more editorial.
• Styling. I recommend tying your hair back, it hides the fact that you've been drenched no less than six times today and have the hair to prove it and to be honest it's probably time for a haircut again anyway really accentuates your bone structure. Feck it, just crop your head out in Photoshop (see above):
• Have your finger on the pulse fashion-wise. Everyone has leggings these days. I've had mine for one whole day. But what I have that you don't, is an octopus tunic: You'll not see one of those on the runaways of Paris or Rome. At least not until next season.

All that aside, what do you think of my tunics? I didn't add a back tie to the Andalucia one so it's very smocky, but the octopus one has a tie because it looked like a muumuu without one. And the world's probably not ready for an octopus muumuu.

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